Respect in Families

Respect is one of the elements that the Proclamation on the Family lists as being needed in families and marriages.  What examples of respect in families do we find in the scriptures?  The first that comes to mind is the way that Nephi treated his father after the incident of the broken bow.  His bow had broken, and Nephi wrote that they did “suffer much for the want of food.”  Nephi recorded that even his father did “murmur against the Lord his God” and the whole group was exceedingly sorrowful because of their hunger (1 Nephi 16:19-20).  Nephi did not murmur, though, and went to work himself trying to make a new bow and arrow.  Instead of praying himself and going out to find food, he instead went to his father and asked him, “Whither shall I go to obtain food?” (1 Nephi 16:23)  Nephi understood and reverenced the role of his father as both a prophet and the leader of their group.  Even though his father was murmuring, Nephi still went to him for guidance, trusting that the Lord would tell his father where they should get food.  This showed great respect for his father, and Nephi didn’t let Lehi’s temporary weakness blur his understanding of his father’s role as the head of their family.  Because of that respect he showed, his father humbled himself, received direction from the Lord, and their family was able to obtain food and continue their journey.  As a child, the Savior also showed us an example of respect for parents, both for His mortal mother and stepfather as well as His Father in Heaven.  At the age of 12, He stayed in Jerusalem to teach the people according to the will of the Father.  When Mary and Joseph searched for Him and finally found Him, He said simply, “Wist ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?”  But lest we think that He did not appreciate and understand the role of His mortal parents, Luke included the detail that Christ “was subject unto them” (Luke 2:51).  Even though He was God, He still subjected Himself to His parents and honored them.  But He also showed them that the ultimate authority was His Father, whom Christ also perfectly respected.  As a last example, I think the brother of Jared showed incredible respect for his brother Jared.  Apparently Jared was the leader of the family, but the brother of Jared was understood to be the prophet who could communicate with the Lord.  Given this, I’m impressed with the way that the brother of Jared respected all of Jared’s wishes.  Jared told his brother, “Cry unto the Lord, that he will not confound us that we may not understand our words” (Ether 1:34).  The brother of Jared did it.  Jared told his brother, “Cry again unto the Lord, and it may be that he will turn away his anger from them who are our friends, that he confound not their language” (Ether 1:36).  The brother of Jared did it.  Jared then told his brother, “Go and inquire of the Lord whether he will drive us out of the land, and if he will drive us out of the land, cry unto him whither we shall go” (Ether 1:38).  The brother of Jared did it.  Most of us will chafe a little when repeatedly told what to do, especially by one of our siblings.  But the brother of Jared respected his brother’s role as the leader of their group and did not let pride stop him from doing exactly as Jared desired.  Because of this, they were able to preserve their language and were guided by the Lord to the promised land.  All three of these examples show how families are blessed when members of the family respect and show confidence in the roles of others.