Not Always Scolding

At the end of the book The Silver Chair in the Chronicles of Narnia, Aslan came and met with Jill and Eustace who had been sent by him to rescue the prince.  They had succeeded in their mission, but they had failed to always follow the counsel that Aslan had given Jill at the start of her quest.  Because of this Jill was ashamed at what she had done and didn’t know what to say to Aslan.  He knew what she was thinking and said to her, “Think of that no more.  I will not always be scolding.  You have done the work for which I sent you into Narnia” (pg. 236).  I’ve been pondering that phrase “I will not always be scolding” in the context of my interactions with my children.  As I struggle to teach my little ones how to be obedient I sometimes feel that I am “always scolding.”  Surely in the Lord’s dealings with us there is “scolding” (or “chastening” as He put it in D&C 101:5), but it does not last forever, and it is not the dominant interaction with us.  As Isaiah said, “In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer” (Isaiah 54:8).  In the book of John we read, “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:17).  The Lord’s ultimate aim is to save us, not to scold us even if that is in some instances a necessary part of our growth. 

                The Lord taught the Prophet Joseph exactly how to reprimand others when that needs to take place.  In the very well-known scripture we read, “Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved” (D&C 121:43).  Starting reproof with direction from the Holy Ghost and ending it with an outpouring of love are perhaps the two most important steps.  All too often I think I just get the “reproving betimes” part accomplished and fail to ensure that it is a positive experience.  I think that Alma’s interaction with his son Corianton was a good example of following this.  We know that he was directed by the Spirit to speak to and correct Corianton because he told us, “And now the Spirit of the Lord doth say unto me: Command thy children to do good, lest they lead away the hearts of many people to destruction” (Alma 39:12).  His reproof came in Alma 39:1-14, but then he spent nearly all of the rest of his interaction with his son—the rest of this chapter and then all of Alma 40-42—teaching Corianton and showing great concern for him.  He did not simply write him off because he had made such a big mistake.  Alma showed both love and trust for his son, ending his teaching with a call to Corianton to continue his missionary labors.  Alma scolded, but he was not always scolding.  When my children look back on their childhood and strongest memories, I hope that a mention of how I scolded them will not have been prominent enough to make it into their summary.