Our Priorities

Today I listened to a talk Called to Serve by Elder Holland from several years ago.   In it he told a pretty dramatic story about a bishop who had set a goal with his wife to spend more time together as a couple because it had been hard with his busy schedule in his calling.  On their first planned outing together after this decision, the phone rang as they were getting into the car.  The bishop hesitated but ultimately picked up the phone which turned out that it ended their evening together.  A few weeks later a young woman came up to the bishop’s wife and explained how the bishop had saved her from committing grievous sin; in essence that phone call he had picked up was a last ditch effort on her part to see if she wasn’t supposed to go through with an action that would have destroyed her family.  Because the bishop had picked up the phone and helped her, she had not done the terrible thing she would have regretted forever.  Elder Holland commented on the story this way: “Nine times out of ten I would have been right alongside that wife telling her husband not to answer that telephone.  But I am as grateful in my own way as that young woman was in hers that in this instance this good man followed the prompting of the Spirit and responded to his ‘call’—in this case, literally—his ‘call to serve.’” 

                To me this story illustrates a general principle about the priorities we have in our lives.  I’ve sometimes heard conversations in which the major priorities we have in our lives are listed and put in some relative order.  For example, we might say, “God comes first, my family comes second, the Church comes third, my work comes fourth, etc.”  While those types of ranking might be appropriate for making statements about long-term decisions and what will ultimately matter in eternity, I don’t think we can depend on a strict prioritization for making daily decisions about how we use our time.  This story is an example; we would certainly say that a man’s relationship with his wife and care for his family is more important than any Church calling he might have, and yet in this specific instance it was more important for him to serve in that calling than to be with his wife that night.  The only prioritization that we can truly depend on for all decisions is very short: God’s will comes first.  That then defines everything else as we seek to hear His voice and know what He would have us do in specific situations.  Sometimes that might mean that we need to serve less in our Church calling so we can spend more time with our children; other times it might mean that we need to work a little bit more in our job or spend more time in our school work to properly prepare us for the future.  At other times in our lives we might need to focus more on serving in our community or nurturing our marital relationship or doing family history more consistently or attending the temple more frequently or doing a host of other worthy activities.  One of the greatest challenges in life is being able to clearly see what it is the Lord would have us focus on and choosing how to spend our time amidst far too many noble activities that we might participate in. 

One case in point is what the Lord required of Brigham Young in the early days of the Church.  In 1838 the Lord said this: “Let the Twelve be organized…. And next spring let them depart to go over the great waters, and there promulgate my gospel, the fulness thereof, and bear record of my name” (D&C 138:4).  Brigham Young was one of those Twelve, and following this revelation he left to serve a mission in England at great sacrifice to his family.  When he left his family was in terrible health (as was he) and their financial situation was “precarious” as Elder Holland mentioned in the above talk.  Brigham returned home about two years later and received this revelation from the Prophet Joseph: “My servant Brigham, it is no more required at your hand to leave your family as in times past, for your offering is acceptable to me….   I therefore command you to send my word abroad, and take especial care of your family from this time, henceforth and forever” (D&C 126:1, 3).  So the Lord called him to serve a mission at enormous cost to his family at one time, and then later told him not to serve any more missions but to stay home and care for his family.  So was it more important for him to serve missions or to care for his family?  The answer was not fixed but depended upon the time in his life.  What mattered was what the Lord wanted him to do at that particular time.  As we struggle with allocating our time between many good things such as family and Church and work and school, the most important priority to remember is that what God wants us to do at that time always comes first.