Unselfish Love

I recently ran across this quote from the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard: “If one wants to make sure that love is completely unselfish, he eliminates every possibility of repayment.”  This reminded me of what I once heard the wife of one of my religion teachers in college describe as the definition of love: “Giving without expectations.”  The idea is that real love, or the highest kind of love, is that which performs good actions for which nothing in return is expected.  It seems that this is the idea behind some of the teachings about service and love of the Savior.  He told us, “But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth” (Matt. 6:3).  If we do alms in order to be seen and be praised of men, then that’s not really love.  Love means that we serve because we want to help someone, and not for any ulterior motives that might benefit us.  In another statement from the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior said, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44).  We are to love and serve and bless even those from who are the least likely to show any reciprocity.  The Savior commented, “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?” (Matt. 5:46-47)  If we only love those who are willing to give back love to us, then that is only a partial kind of love at best.

               The Savior certainly showed this kind of love in His life.  He spent much of His time among the lower classes of society healing and blessing those who would never have any means of repayment to give Him.  He cast out devils, healed the sick, raised the dead, and healed all manner of infirmities in people who gave Him nothing in return.  Perhaps one of the most dramatic instances of this kind of selfless love was when He washed the feet of the apostles.  The account is recorded in John 13, and after the discussion about it with Peter the text tells us that He “washed their feet,” implying I believe that He washed all of their feet.  A few verses later the record tells us that Jesus announced, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me.”  Soon thereafter He told Judas, “That thou doest, do quickly” (John 13:12, 21, 27).  In my mind the ordering of this chapter suggests that Judas indeed had his feet washed by the Savior, which if that is true certainly shows an absolute kind of love devoid of any expectation of returning the favor.  Jesus knew that Judas was going to give Him over to be killed, and yet He still washed his feet and let him eat at the table with them.  That is certainly “giving without expectations.”  Of course, that was only a small act and symbol of what He was about to do when He would suffer for the sins of all mankind in the garden.  That too was a perfect kind of love because we have no hope of ever paying Him back for the incalculable suffering He endured for us.  We can certainly show gratitude to Him by keeping His commandments, but that is in no way compensation for what He did—He completed the atonement out of pure love for us and His Father without any “possibility of repayment.”

               We too have opportunities in our lives to give this kind of love, whether in anonymously helping others, raising children who will never know all the sacrifices parents made for them, or even praying and fasting for those in need without letting them know.  The original quote from Kierkegaard was actually in the context of remembering those who have died, saying that “the work of love in remembering one who is dead is a work of the utmost unselfish love.”  As Latter-day Saints we have the opportunity to give that kind of love in our efforts to index records, research ancestors, and perform temple work.  Our sacrifice is one of time, and there is absolutely no remuneration in worldly terms, especially not from the people we are serving.  Perhaps this is one of the reasons temple work is so encouraged—we are invited to participate in an act of service and love that, as “saviors on Mount Zion,” brings us a little closer to having the pure, unselfish love that the Savior has for us all.