What God Hath Joined Together

One of the passages in the Sermon on the Mount that seems very strict is this teaching on marriage from the Savior: “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery” (Matt. 5:31-32).  The Book of Mormon gives essentially the same language in its version of the Sermon on the Mount in 3 Nephi 12:31-32.  We obviously have many in the Church today who marry those who are divorced for reasons other than infidelity, and those marriages may take place even in the temple.  The Church allows this without any implication of the violation of the law of chastity having been committed.  So how do we reconcile this teaching with current culture and practices?

               From what I understand, this is in fact not a law that we are required to live right now.  Later in the Savior’s ministry some Pharisees came to Him asking about divorce.  He explained how the Father had instituted marriage and said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”  They responded with the question, “Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?”  He said, reaffirming His original statement, “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”  Upon hearing this the disciples were apparently troubled as we might be today and they suggested, “If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.”  But the Savior rejected this by saying, “All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given” (Matt. 19:3-11).  To me this suggests that the saying was perhaps not meant for everyone.  Here’s how Elder McConkie described it, “All men could not live such a high standard; it applied only to those ‘to whom it is given.’  It may have been in force at various times and among various people, but the Church is not bound by it today. At this time divorces are permitted in the Church for a number of reasons other than immorality, and divorced persons are permitted to marry again and enjoy all of the blessings of the gospel.”

               Here’s what Elder Oaks said about this scripture after quoting it: “The kind of marriage required for exaltation—eternal in duration and godlike in quality—does not contemplate divorce. In the temples of the Lord, couples are married for all eternity. But some marriages do not progress toward that ideal. Because ‘of the hardness of [our] hearts,’ the Lord does not currently enforce the consequences of the celestial standard. He permits divorced persons to marry again without the stain of immorality specified in the higher law.”  Even if we don’t see the law as binding on the Church today, clearly the message of the Savior is that marriage is serious and should be held on to at all costs.  President Hinckley put it this way: “The remedy for most marriage stress is not in divorce. It is in repentance. It is not in separation. It is in simple integrity that leads a man to square up his shoulders and meet his obligations. It is found in the Golden Rule.”  In the restored gospel we strive to save marriages whenever there is even the smallest chance of keeping it alive—as the Savior said, “What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matt. 19:6).