A Mock of His Brother

Alma asked this question to the people of Zarahemla: “And again I say unto you, is there one among you that doth make a mock of his brother, or that heapeth upon him persecutions?” As readers today it is easy to pass quickly over this verse because most of us are not physically persecuting others, but this question about whether we are making of a mock of our brother caught my attention and I believe it is very relevant to us. Perhaps I noticed it because in our home we struggle with that as siblings make fun of other siblings despite our attempts to help them see the good in each other. One child who had made fun of another child in very hurtful words gave their defense recently to me for why they were being so critical of their sibling: “I am just telling the truth!” I think that’s perhaps the same kind of justification we all make as we criticize others, usually behind their backs—i.e., we reason that we are just telling the truth about them, so the unkind words are okay. I believe Alma’s question is certainly not only pertinent to children who have a hard time being nice, and most of us are more critical and mocking towards others than we would care to admit. President Nelson urged us in this way: “We cannot support Satan with our verbal assaults and then think that we can still serve God. My dear brothers and sisters, how we treat each other really matters! How we speak to and about others at home, at church, at work, and online really matters. Today, I am asking us to interact with others in a higher, holier way. Please listen carefully. ‘If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy’ that we can say about another person—whether to his face or behind her back—that should be our standard of communication.” He continued with examples of times when we are likely tempted to be critical of others: “If a couple in your ward gets divorced, or a young missionary returns home early, or a teenager doubts his testimony, they do not need your judgment. They need to experience the pure love of Jesus Christ reflected in your words and actions. If a friend on social media has strong political or social views that violate everything you believe in, an angry, cutting retort by you will not help. Building bridges of understanding will require much more of you, but that is exactly what your friend needs.” Our goal should not be to simply “tell the truth” (as we see it) about others but rather to lift others with words that are virtuous and praiseworthy and filled with love.  

                As we decide how we speak to and about one another, perhaps the best counsel we have is this invitation from the Lord: “Let your words tend to edifying one another” (Doctrine and Covenants 136:24). If our words do not promote good or lift up each other or encourage, why say them at all, even if we do feel they are true? In another revelation the Lord said this: “Therefore, strengthen your brethren in all your conversation, in all your prayers, in all your exhortations, and in all your doings” (Doctrine and Covenants 108:7). The words we use should strengthen one another, find the good around us and praise the positive things we see in others. There may be rare occasions when we need to “[reprove] betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” to correct another, but that should always be followed up with “an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43). We are usually pretty good at the reproving part but all too often we forget the part about the Holy Ghost and showing increased love. And instead of using “sharpness” by focusing reproof on a very specific thing to be corrected, we too often throw generic, all-encompassing criticisms that attack the person as a whole. James warned, “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” Instead of this, we should strive to let these words describe our words: “The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace” (James 3:8-10, 17-18). We should consider Alma’s question carefully—“Is there one among you that doth make a mock of his brother”—and strive to use edifying language that is peaceable, gentle, and full of mercy.