Nothing To Separate Us

I just finished listening to the classic novel Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I listened to it once several years ago, and this time I was touched by the character Biddy. The story is about an orphan boy named Pip and follows him through his youth into adulthood. Biddy was about the same age as Pip and was also an orphan. Pip was raised by his sister and his brother-in-law Joe, and when his sister was maliciously injured, Biddy came and helped them in the house. She was a close friend to Pip and was always kind, patient, and forgiving towards him. Pip had an unexpected benefactor who sponsored him, causing Pip to leave the family at a young age. He was terribly neglectful towards Pip and Biddy while he was away, focused on his own status in the world and somewhat embarrassed by the simpleness of his former life and friends. But Biddy, along with Pip, always treated him warmly and with gentleness. Eventually Pip’s sister died, and Pip came back home for the funeral. Talking with Biddy he said, “Of course I shall be often down here now. I am not going to leave poor Joe alone.” When she didn’t respond, knowing that Pip would not really come down often, he insisted, “I made a remark respecting my coming down here often, to see Joe, which you received with a marked silence. Have the goodness, Biddy, to tell me why.” She responded, “Are you quite sure, then, that you WILL come to see him often?” He was offended by her remark, replying, “O dear me! This really is a very bad side of human nature! Don’t say any more, if you please, Biddy. This shocks me very much.” The next morning, though, in her kind and forgiving way she had breakfast for him as he departed. He said to her, “Biddy, I am not angry, but I am hurt.” She responded in her selfless way, “No, don’t be hurt, let only me be hurt, if I have been ungenerous.” And she was right; he did not come back like he said and was extremely neglectful of them over the subsequent years. But Biddy was never vengeful or unkind, and towards the end of the book when Pip became extremely ill, Joe found out and went up to London to take care of Pip. He explained to Pip, “And Biddy, her word were, ‘Go to him, without loss of time.’ That were the word of Biddy. ‘Go to him,’ Biddy say, ‘without loss of time.’ In short, I shouldn’t greatly deceive you, if I represented to you that the word of that young woman were, ‘without a minute’s loss of time.’” Despite the way that Pip had terribly neglected her and Joe, Biddy was immediate in her response to come to Pip’s rescue. Joe nursed him back to health, paid some of his debts to keep him from being arrested, and neither he nor Biddy showed any sign of resentment for Pip.

               In one of the final scenes of the book, Pip expressed his great remorse for how he had treated Biddy and Joe. He exclaimed to them, “And Joe and Biddy both… receive my humble thanks for all you have done for me, and all I have so ill repaid! And when I say that I am going away within the hour, for I am soon going abroad, and that I shall never rest until I have worked for the money with which you have kept me out of prison, and have sent it to you, don’t think, dear Joe and Biddy, that if I could repay it a thousand times over, I suppose I could cancel a farthing of the debt I owe you, or that I would do so if I could!” He then entreated them, “Though I know you have already done it in your own kind hearts, pray tell me, both, that you forgive me! Pray let me hear you say the words, that I may carry the sound of them away with me, and then I shall be able to believe that you can trust me, and think better of me, in the time to come!” Their reply was immediate; Joe said, “O dear old Pip, old chap. God knows as I forgive you, if I have anythink to forgive!” Biddy added, “Amen! And God knows I do!” They were pure, Christlike characters who took no offense at Pip’s neglectful behavior but loved him and forgave him and helped him even when he had failed to be a true friend to them. They are powerful examples of the kind of friend and sibling and neighbor that we should be, choosing not to take offense when we might be justified in doing so and simply loving others. Joe and Biddy were models of charity, fitting well this description from Mormon: “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (Moroni 7:45).

               The book was called “Great Expectations” because of what Pip was expected to become through the generosity of his benefactor who sought to make him a gentleman. To fit a description of the attitude of Biddy (and Joe), we could change it to “No Expectations.” They did not expect anything of Pip; instead, they just loved him despite his failings and mistakes. That should be our attitude to those who are closest to us; instead of expecting them to do certain things for us, we can let go of expectations and love them no matter what they do or do not do. Paul wrote to the Romans, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39). If nothing or no one can separate us from the love of Christ, so too we should strive so that nothing can separate our closest friends and family members from the love we have for them. No matter what they do or do not do, no matter what difficulties or sins or weaknesses they have, we should strive to help them always feel—like Biddy and Joe—that they are not separated from our love.