A Family-Centered Church

Yesterday in general conference, President Oaks highlighted the importance of family for the Church. He said, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is sometimes known as a family-centered church. It is! Our relationship to God and the purpose of our mortal life are explained in terms of the family.” In an unusually personal story for President Oaks, he told of losing his father at the age of seven and the love that his maternal grandfather showed him in that moment. His grandfather came into his room where he was crying, and comforted him saying, ‘I will be your father.’” I think he wanted to encourage us to each by like his grandfather in the way we help and support and love our own family members. His story reminds us of the truths taught in the Family, A Proclamation to the World: “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.” Our families should be built upon principles of love and unity, and when difficulties come, we should be there with support for our extended families like his grandfather was for him.

                As I read the beginning of the story of the Jaredites I was struck this time by its focus on family. The main character is known as a brother instead of his own name, with the word brother appearing twelve times in the first chapter. The account starts with a family genealogy of their people from Ether to the Jared (Ether 1:6-32). The word family (or families) appears nine times in the first two chapters as this group of people seeks to preserve their families. After the brother of Jared cried unto the Lord to help their families and the families of their friends, the Lord said to them, “Go to and gather together thy flocks, both male and female, of every kind; and also of the seed of the earth of every kind; and thy families; and also Jared thy brother and his family; and also thy friends and their families, and the friends of Jared and their families” (Ether 1:41). The Lord blessed them to stay united as families and protected them from the confounding of languages as they departed into the wilderness. The brother of Jared received his marvelous vision of the Savior and the rocks that glowed in order to bless his family in crossing the great deep to the promised land. And when the next generation started, the focus was on remembering their fathers: “And it came to pass that Orihah did walk humbly before the Lord, and did remember how great things the Lord had done for his father, and also taught his people how great things the Lord had done for their fathers” (Ether 6:30). The rest of the brief history of this people similarly focused on families, with both the good and bad as the kingdom passed from generation to generation. We read of sons rebelling against their fathers (Ether 7:4), of a brother forgiving his brother (Ether 7:13), of sons and daughters being faithful to their father even while another brother sought to kill him (Ether 9:2), of a war between father and sons (Ether 9:12), of a good king remembering his fathers (Ether 10:2), and of other sons and brothers rebelling against their fathers and brothers in search for power (Ether 10:3, 14; 11:4). In short, the whole history is filled with stories of families in very challenging situations. The book helps us see the terrible consequences of not being faithful to our families and the blessings that come when we are.

                In his talk, President Oaks also repeated what the Church has said before to parents: “What your children really want for dinner is you.” His teachings and these stories in the book of Ether remind us that our families need more of our time and focus, our love and devotion. Our children need more of their parents and less of their screens, and whatever our family situation is, we can find ways to serve and love those who are a part of our extended families.