Lift Up Your Heart

At one point when the Lord was angry with the children of Israel for their lack of faith and their complaints, Moses seems to have reached a low point emotionally as their leader. He said to the Lord, “Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me? Have I conceived all this people? have I begotten them, that thou shouldest say unto me, Carry them in thy bosom, as a nursing father beareth the sucking child, unto the land which thou swarest unto their fathers? Whence should I have flesh to give unto all this people? for they weep unto me, saying, Give us flesh, that we may eat. I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me. And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand, if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness” (Numbers 11:11-15). He was overcome with grief because of the wickedness of his people and the pressure he was under, and he wanted to just die. This reminds me of the experience of Elijah who also mourned because of the wickedness of the people. As he was running for his life, “He himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree” (1 Kings19:4-5). Like Moses, in a moment of depression and grief, he requested to be able to simply die. Even prophets have times of great stress and sorrow.

               We see other prophets who similarly struggled because of the wickedness of the people. One of these was Jeremiah who saw his people be killed and taken captive by the Babylonians. He cried out in the midst of this, “My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war” (Jeremiah 4:19). In another lament he said, “For these things I weep; mine eye, mine eye runneth down with water, because the comforter that should relieve my soul is far from me: my children are desolate, because the enemy prevailed. Zion spreadeth forth her hands, and there is none to comfort her: the Lord hath commanded concerning Jacob, that his adversaries should be round about him” (Lamentations 1:16-17). Mormon was another who saw the destruction of much of his people and similarly mourned: “A continual scene of wickedness and abominations has been before mine eyes ever since I have been sufficient to behold the ways of man. And wo is me because of their wickedness; for my heart has been filled with sorrow because of their wickedness, all my days” (Mormon 2:18-19). Enoch likewise experienced great sorrow as he had a vision of Noah and the destruction that came with the flood: “Wherefore Enoch saw that Noah built an ark; and that the Lord smiled upon it, and held it in his own hand; but upon the residue of the wicked the floods came and swallowed them up. And as Enoch saw this, he had bitterness of soul, and wept over his brethren, and said unto the heavens: I will refuse to be comforted” (Moses 7:43-44). For a moment at least, he refused to be comforted because of the terrible consequences of wickedness that he beheld.

               Nephi, the son of Lehi, also had moments of great distress that he wrote about. Like Enoch, he saw a future vision of destruction and had a similar reaction: “And it came to pass that I was overcome because of my afflictions, for I considered that mine afflictions were great above all, because of the destruction of my people, for I had beheld their fall” (1 Nephi 15:5). When he later struggled because of his wicked brothers and his own sins, he exclaimed, “Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins” (2 Nephi 4:17-19). In his final chapter describing the end of his life, we see that his sorrow was still there: “For I pray continually for them by day, and mine eyes water my pillow by night, because of them; and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry” (2 Nephi 33:3). He loved his people and yearned for them to choose the Lord and be blessed by him.

               All of these passages highlight that we are in good company when we sorrow and struggle and weep for our own or for others’ sins. Surely the Lord expects us at times to feel a little like this. But as the Lord said to Enoch, I believe that He says eventually to us as well: “Lift up your heart, and be glad; and look.” What did Enoch see? “Enoch saw the day of the coming of the Son of Man, even in the flesh; and his soul rejoiced, saying: The Righteous is lifted up, and the Lamb is slain from the foundation of the world; and through faith I am in the bosom of the Father, and behold, Zion is with me.” There will certainly be moments of pain and sorrow for all of us in mortality, even the prophets, but ultimately we can lift up our heart and be glad because the Son of Man came. Through faith in Him we can all be lifted up to the bosom of the Father.