Strengthen, Stablish, Settle You

In the most recent general conference, Sister Emily Belle Freeman opened her talk this way: “Several weeks ago we began planning our daughter’s wedding. With great joy, we dreamed and brainstormed as we considered all the options. And then my husband, Greg, received a phone call he couldn’t ignore. It was the oncologist confirming what we hoped wasn’t true. Greg’s cancer had returned. Isn’t it amazing how you can go from best day to worst day in a matter of minutes?” For me her contrasting experiences highlight especially the joys and challenges of family life. Joy and the sorrow seem to go hand in hand as we watch family members in good experiences as well as in great struggles. Lehi wrote about this when he discussed Adam and Eve and the beginning of families on the earth, suggesting that “there is an opposition in all things.” He taught, speaking of what would have happened without the fall, “And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin. But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things. Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:11, 23-25). Without children and family we might say that there would be no misery, but there would be no joy either. In a family these opposites come together, just as Lehi himself experienced. On the one hand he could say, “I have reason to rejoice in the Lord because of Nephi and also of Sam; for I have reason to suppose that they, and also many of their seed, will be saved.” But then in the same breath he added, “But behold, Laman and Lemuel, I fear exceedingly because of you” (1 Nephi 8:3-4). His children caused him both to rejoice and to fear and to sorrow, to mourn and to celebrate. And surely that is no anomaly—that is the norm for life in a family.    

            And so how do we deal with the happiness and sadness, the rejoicing and suffering, that are an integral part of mortality and life in our families? I think Lehi also gave us the answer. After speaking of the opposition that we face and the joy and sorrow that entered mortality with children, he gave this invitation: “They are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men…. And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit” (2 Nephi 2:27-28). The Savior is the answer, and as our Mediator, He can help mediate the ups and downs of life and family. Sister Freeman quoted these words from the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet encouraging us to turn to Him: “Jesus Christ will help you. … When you are worried, afraid, or [struggle] in any way, He will comfort you… Jesus Christ brings joy. … You might have a bad day, a bad week, or a bad year. [Just remember,] joy is not the absence of sorrow in your life; [it is] the presence of [Jesus] Christ in your life.” She then gave this invitation at the end of her talk, “Jesus Christ knows all about best days and worst days: suffering so great that an angel was sent to strengthen Him, the betrayal of a good friend, the cross on Calvary. But His story also has a garden, a stone rolled away, and an empty tomb. Because of Him, no matter how bad things are right now, your best days are ahead. Jesus Christ is our strength. This I know.” Whether in our best days or our worst days, strength and stability and the power to continue is found in Jesus Christ. During her talk Sister Freeman focused on the experience of Peter who certainly had his fair share of ups and downs. Towards the end of his life, though, Peter taught said this about stability: “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you” (1 Peter 5:10). Though there will certainly be suffering, the Savior can establish, strengthen, and settle us to navigate all of the joys and sorrows of mortality.