As the Lord Seeth

I’ve been listening to a book on parenting that suggests we should encourage rather than praise our children.  The difference between these two things as explained in the book is that praise focuses on the outcomes (e.g. “you are so awesome for winning that race”) whereas encouragement focuses on the behaviors that lead to positive outcomes (e.g. “you really worked hard in that race”).  The idea as explained in the book is that we should be helping our children find satisfaction in the worthy behaviors that we want them to have as opposed to focusing only on the end results that may not be totally within their control.  This reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures—the Lord said of Oliver Granger, “When he falls he shall rise again, for his sacrifice shall be more sacred unto me than his increase, saith the Lord” (D&C 117:13).  In other words, the efforts we put forth for the Lord are more important in His eyes than the success that we have. 

                It’s interesting to look at the definition of a successful missionary according to Preach My Gospel: “Your success as a missionary is measured primarily by your commitment to find, teach, baptize, and confirm people and to help them become faithful members of the Church who enjoy the presence of the Holy Ghost.”  The focus is on the missionary’s “commitment” to do those things that missionaries are to do, not on the actual success of baptizing or teaching.  We see this principle taught powerfully in the example of the widow’s mite: the Lord didn’t care how much money the people were casting into the treasury; what mattered was how much they were truly devoted to helping the poor.  The widow “cast in all that she had,” showing that she was completely willing to sacrificing and helping others, whereas the rich who gave only to be seen had no real desire to help the poor (Mark 12:44).  The parable of the talents I think teaches the same thing: the man who gained five talents and the man who gained two talents both received the exact same approval from the Lord: “Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matt. 25:23).  The Lord was pleased with them not for the number of talents they returned to Him, but because they had been “faithful.”  The man who had one talent and did nothing with it was condemned because he was “slothful,” not because he didn’t gain as many talents as the first or second man.  The Lord is concerned with the efforts we put forth, with the way that seek to be faithful no matter what the outcome.  Perhaps the words of the Lord to Samuel summarize this idea the best: “The Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).  We must seek to likewise see our children with those eyes of the Lord and help them focus on becoming who the Lord wants them and not worry about how the world values their quantifiable accomplishments.