Even As Him

Elder Scott Whiting in the most recent general conference spoke about our efforts to become like the Savior. He said, “All are under the directive to become like Him, just as Jesus Christ became like the Father…. Becoming as Jesus Christ is will require changing our hearts and minds, indeed, our very character, and doing so is possible only through the saving grace of Jesus Christ.” Many scriptures attest to our need to become like the Savior, with perhaps the clearest being that given by the Resurrected Christ to the Nephite disciples: “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27). So how do we do this? How do we become even as the Man who never sinned, who never disobeyed or lost His temper or said an evil word or had unkind feelings towards another? As Elder Whiting observed, “If we are honest with ourselves, the Light of Christ within us whispers that there is distance between where we are in comparison with the desired character of the Savior.” He encouraged us to seek diligently to know, perhaps with the help of others, “what attribute of Jesus Christ we are in need of…. It is vital that we also ask our loving Heavenly Father what we are in need of and where we should focus our efforts. He has a perfect view of us and will lovingly show us our weakness. Perhaps you will learn that you need greater patience, humility, charity, love, hope, diligence, or obedience, to name a few.” He referred to chapter six of the Preach My Gospel manual which outlines many Christlike attributes and provides a study guide for helping to obtain them. After seeking to evaluate ourselves and how we measure up to these attributes of the Savior, Elder Whiting invited, “You will need to select an attribute that will keenly become your focus. You will need to commit to exerting meaningful effort. These attributes won’t come cheaply and suddenly, but through His grace they will come incrementally while endeavoring.” The problem, though, is when reviewing such a list as this I find that I am severely lacking in them all!

                Of the Preach My Gospel list the one that I come especially short in is patience. I sometimes tell people that I was always a very patient person—until I had children! But that’s where it counts most, and as this section states, “You need patience in your everyday experiences and relationships…. You must be patient with all people, yourself included, as you work to overcome faults and weaknesses.” As I ponder my relationship with my children and my often failed attempts at patience, I realize that this virtue is intricately linked with forgiveness. As my children make the same mistakes over and over I know that while still trying to help them improve I must forgive them “seventy times seven” as the Savior taught (Matt. 18:22). When my daughter leaves a large pool of water on the bathroom floor after every shower despite persistent instructions to the contrary, I know I must forgive. When my son chooses to eat a gargantuan-size bowl of cereal right after his mom spent hours making a fancy dinner for him (and leaving a similarly-sized mess when done), I still must be patient and forgiving while trying to help him better respect the service his mother renders. When another child repeatedly screams at my wife and me and insults us when family requirements seem too strict, I know I still must have a forgiving and patient heart. When my four-year-old throws a colossal tantrum every time she has to clean her room, even when the work required would equate to about two minutes, I know I must be patient and non-judgmental in my efforts to teach her hard work and persistence. And of course, when certain children consistently wake us up in the middle of the night and loudly demand our attention, I know I really have to work at showing patience and forgiveness despite my fatigue. My wife recently remarked that she felt the Lord telling her that we need to show the kind of patience towards a particular child we struggle with to the same degree that the Savior showed patience on the cross. As He hung there in agony for hours, he found the patience to endure in kindness as He spoke to the thieves there with Him and as He made this incredible statement: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). He was perfectly patient and forgiving to the end, and even when He was betrayed by so many He patiently accepted His course and endured in agony “without becoming angry, frustrated, or anxious.” So perhaps as I seek to “continue in patience,” and as certain situations tempt me to become angry and frustrated, I need to view in my mind’s eye Him, hanging there on the cross, patiently enduring and forgiving to the end (Doctrine and Covenants 67:13).