Steadfastness in Christ

Yesterday my wife and I discussed our parenting towards a particular child and some specific things that we feel we need to do better and more consistently. As I pondered this list we came up with this morning, I realized that they are incorporated in this powerful and well-known invitation from Nephi: “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life” (2 Nephi 31:20). Though we don’t have any stories that show us how Nephi interacted with his children, we have plenty which show us how he treated his brothers who were difficult to say the least. If we had to pick a single word to describe his actions towards them, I think steadfastness would be a very good one. No matter what they did, no matter how much they rebelled and abused him and caused him sorrow, he always showed in word and deed a steadfastness in Christ. He was, it seems, unflappable: nothing they did could dissuade him from following the Lord and he never returned railing for railing. He was simply steadfast in righteousness, and surely that’s the kind of example we should show towards our family and children especially. No matter what they choose to do, no matter how volatile their actions, we should be perfectly consistent in our efforts to do as the Savior would do.

                Three other phrases in this verse are I believe very instructive to us for how we should interact with our children. The other day as I was a bit down because of certain defiant actions of one of my children, questioning whether I could really help them, the Spirit whispered that I need to have hope towards them and concerning their future. I love the way that Nephi put it: “a perfect brightness of hope.” Though we cannot in the end ensure that our children choose paths of righteousness, we can in our interactions with them have a perfect hope for their future and their ability to overcome any struggles they face. That’s one of the incredible attributes that Nephi had—he hoped for his brethren always. After one instance teaching them he wrote, “I had joy and great hopes of them, that they would walk in the paths of righteousness” (1 Nephi 16:5). This was after they had tried to kill him at least once and after his father had expressed great worry about their salvation. He did not let their actions cause him to lose hope in their ability to change. Our children need us to look to their potential and possibilities with a brightness of hope that inspires them to become as the Lord would have them be. Nephi also suggested that we need a “love of God and of all men,” and our children need to see and feel that love in us no matter what they do. Recently in an Elders Quorum meeting a brother told of how he and his wife struggled with their teenage boys who did not make the choices they had taught them to make, and it caused a great strain on their relationship with them and frustration between him and his sons. He said he had a turning point in his perspective, though, when one son came to him and questioned, “Dad, why can’t you just love me?” No matter what else they hear from us, they must hear love—for God and for them—in our words and instructions.

                Lastly, Nephi’s counsel is to feast upon the words of Christ, and that is what we need for ourselves and what we must relentlessly strive to help our children do in their lives. We must never forget that lasting change in us and in our children will come most likely not by force but by the power of the word of God as Alma so believed: “And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God” (Alma 31:5). We must never lose hope and trust in the power of the word of God to inspire us and our children, to lead us on the course of life that will one day bring us back to the Father together to hear His voice: “Ye shall have eternal life.”