My God Hath Been My Support

In his recent conference talk Worthiness Is Not Flawlessness, Brother Brad Wilcox told the story of a young man who struggled to overcome an addiction. Brother Wilcox recounted, “Each time Damon slipped, the pain of regret became so intense, he harshly judged himself to be unworthy of any kind of grace, forgiveness, or additional chances from God. He said: ‘I decided I just deserved to feel terrible all the time. I figured God probably hated me because I wasn’t willing to work harder and get on top of this once and for all.’” But eventually a leader helped him gain new perspective on his struggles and encouraged him to see the help God was willing to grant. This young man later recounted, “The only time I had turned to God in the past was to ask for forgiveness, but now I also asked for grace—His ‘enabling power.’ I had never done that before. These days I spend a lot less time hating myself for what I have done and a lot more time loving Jesus for what He has done.” I think this change in focus has a key lesson for all of us as we seek to overcome our own trials and weaknesses. Instead of focusing our mental energy on our own failings and deficiencies, we should instead think of Him and turn disappointment in ourselves to devotion to the Savior.

                I think we see that Nephi made this shift too as he struggled to overcome the negative feelings he had towards his brothers. As he lamented his own weakness he cried out, “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.” But he realized his focus should be on the goodness of Christ and not on his own sins: “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support… Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation” (2 Nephi 4:17-19, 30). Paul similarly said of his weakness: “I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am!” But he too turned immediately away from these thoughts to the Savior: “Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Romans 7:24-25). As we face disappointment in ourselves, as we get discouraged by our own sins, as we cry out with these two great prophets “O wretched man that I am!”, we should  similarly seek to turn our thoughts to the power and grace of Christ. We are indeed nothing on our own, but with Him our weak things can indeed be made strong (Ether 12:27).

                Brother Wilcox ended his talk with these words, “When you feel like you have failed too many times to keep trying, remember Christ’s Atonement and the grace it makes possible are real. ‘[His] arm of mercy is extended towards you.’” Ammon put it beautifully this way: “Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things” (Alma 20:12). I am reminded often of my own failings and see indeed that I can do nothing of my own, but I hope I can turn these thoughts into a focus on the Savior who can indeed do all things.