All the Difference

One of the themes found in the stories of the Patriarchs in Genesis is the importance of marriage to those within the family. We see this first in Abraham’s desire to find a wife for Isaac who was not one of the daughters of the Canaanites. We read this: “And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac” (Genesis 24:2-4). From that instruction this servant traveled a very long distance in order to reach Abraham’s family and ultimately find Rebekah who was willing to come back and marry Isaac. Later we see that she and Isaac then sought for their two sons to similarly marry wives who were not of the other tribes in the land, as seen here: “And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah” (Genesis 26:34-35). After this sorrow for Rebekah, she said to Isaac, “I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?” (Genesis 27:46) This was such a concern for Rebekah that she considered her life of no value anymore if Jacob did not marry a woman in the covenant. She had given up her former life to marry Isaac as part of her faith in God, and it seems she was determined not to have Jacob lose his faith through marriage to an unbeliever.  

                The Book of Mormon has a similar story which shows the Lord’s desire for his covenant people to marry within the covenant. After Lehi’s family had traveled into the wilderness and gone back to get the plates from Laban, the Lord called the sons to return once more. We read, “After my father, Lehi, had made an end of prophesying concerning his seed, it came to pass that the Lord spake unto him again, saying that it was not meet for him, Lehi, that he should take his family into the wilderness alone; but that his sons should take daughters to wife, that they might raise up seed unto the Lord in the land of promise” (1 Nephi 7:1). I have always thought of the reason for going back to get Ishmael’s family was so that the sons could marry. I assumed that there would have been no chance to marry otherwise. But as I think about it, though they likely were relatively alone most of their journey, surely there would have been some opportunities in their travels for eight years to meet other tribes and find wives for their sons. I think the Lord was concerned not just that these sons married someone but that they married the right wives within the covenant. Ishmael and his families were Israelites who worshipped the Lord (some more than others). It seems that the Lord was ensuring that Nephi and his brothers married those who were of the faith and who would help raise up righteous seed to the Lord in the promised land. For us of course the message of these stories is that we must set our sights on the temple for marriage in our families. That is where faith is most likely to be united in a covenant with the Lord and where we can receive all the blessings He has in store for His people. As President Nelson put it, “I would plead with you to seek a companion with whom you can be sealed in the temple. You may wonder what difference this will make in your life. I promise it will make all the difference! As you marry in the temple and return repeatedly, you will be strengthened and guided in your decisions…. I would plead with you to take the necessary steps to receive that crowning, life-changing ordinance. Will it make a difference? Only if you want to progress forever and be together forever. Wishing to be together forever will not make it so. No other ceremony or contract will make it so.”