Relationships in the Lives of the Youth

In the most recent general conference, Elder Michael T. Nelson spoke about how we can support the rising generation using Helaman from the Book of Mormon as an example. He said, “Helaman was a man that the young Ammonites could trust. He helped them develop and mature in righteousness. They knew and loved him and ‘would that [he] should be their leader.’” He continued, “Helaman loved these young men like sons and saw their potential…. Helaman ‘numbered’ the young men in his care. He prioritized building strong relationships with them…. Helaman faithfully followed his leaders. No matter the challenge or setback, Helaman always remained ‘fixed with a determination’ to advance their purpose. When he was directed to ‘march forth with [his] little sons,’ he obeyed.”  Elder Nelson also added, “Helaman honored covenants. The Ammonites wanted to help these people who had offered them a safe home. Helaman, along with others, persuaded them to keep their covenant never to fight. He trusted more in the strength that God would provide than in the strength these Ammonites could have provided with their swords and arrows.” Thus we find obedience, love, covenant keeping, and trusting in the Lord as traits we should strive to exhibit as we serve and teach and guide the rising generation. He also mentioned building strong relationships, something that is indeed key but certainly easy to look over. Those young stripling warriors loved and honored Helaman as their leader, and this was undoubtedly because he built a real genuine relationship with them. If we want our youth to follow us, they must know that we want to get to know them and understand them and that we value them for who they are.

               Elder Nelson summarized this last point in these words: “By following the direction of the Holy Ghost in reaching out to the youth, we become witnesses of Heavenly Father’s love in their lives. Acting on promptings from the Lord builds relationships of love and trust. It is relationships in the lives of the youth that have the greatest influence on their choices.” That is a powerful statement, but I believe indeed that the relationships youth develop with others, good and bad, will have an enormous impact on what they choose to do and who they choose to become. When I listened to a book recently describing the terrible consequences of the “phone-based childhood” that hit our children in the early 2010s because of smartphones and other technologies, I thought briefly, “Why didn’t we prepare for this better in the Church? Why didn’t we see this coming?” And then I realized that the Lord had indeed prepared for these challenges by seeking the change the culture of the ward and focusing the bishop and his counselors on the youth. I don’t know exactly when that happened, and certainly the bishopric has always been involved with the youth, but in the past couple of decades that responsibility has been emphasized much more than when I was growing up. Surely the Lord knew the struggles that the Gen Z teens would face, and so he restructured the ward so that relationships between the youth and adult leaders would become more important. The current handbook describes it this way: “The bishop’s foremost responsibility is to the rising generation in the ward (the children, youth, and young single adults). To enable him to concentrate on this responsibility, he delegates many assignments. He may delegate to his counselors, the clerk and assistant clerks, the executive secretary, quorum and organization leaders, and others.” The Lord wants His servant who is guided by priesthood keys to focus on helping the youth, just as Helaman did with the stripling warriors. He was the prophet of their people, and yet he focused on the youth. When those young Ammonites first went to war, “they would that Helaman should be their leader.” While this was perhaps in part because he was the prophet, I think it was also because they saw how he loved and served their parents and families and so they trusted him and wanted to follow him. Perhaps as we strive to follow his example when we teach and care for the rising generation, they will see our genuine love and connection and want to follow us in the gospel path.