An Increase of Love

In the most recent general conference, Sister Tamara W. Runia spoke about the joy of repentance. She said, “Yes, your repentance doesn’t burden Jesus Christ; it brightens His joy! Let’s teach that! Because repentance is our best news! We don’t stay on the covenant path by never making a mistake. We stay on the path by repenting every day. And when we’re repenting, God forgives without shaming us, comparing us to anyone else, or scolding us because this is the same thing we were repenting of last week. He’s excited every time He sees us on our knees. He delights to forgive us because to Him we are delightful!” She compared this to the way that the adversary treats us. She continued, “Satan, the great accuser and deceiver, uses shame to keep us from God. Shame is a darkness so heavy it feels that if you took it out of your body, it would have an actual weight or heft to it. Shame is the voice that beats you up, saying, ‘What were you thinking?’ ‘Do you ever get anything right?’ Shame doesn’t tell us we made a mistake; it tells us we are our mistakes. You may even hear, ‘Hide.’ The adversary does everything in his power to keep the heaviness inside, telling us the cost is too high, that it will be easier if this stays in darkness, removing all hope. Satan is the thief of hope.” Reading these words caused me to ponder my own treatment of others, especially my children, when they need correction. Do I, like the Savior, help others see when they have made a mistake and encourage them with joy through repentance to correct it? Or, like the adversary, do I make them feel shame for repeatedly doing the same thing? Do my actions and words suggest that they are a burden on me because of their mistakes, or do they see that they brighten my joy even in their imperfections? I know that my actions as a parent, particularly when correcting children, should follow the way the Savior taught: “By persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-43).   

            Jesus showed us during His mortal ministry of reproving with sharpness and showing love when Peter needed some correction. After the Savior taught that He was going to “suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day,” Peter tried to argue against this. We read, “Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee.” Peter certainly had good intentions, but he was unknowingly suggesting that Jesus shouldn’t fulfil the most important part of His mission. The Savior responded with sharpness: “Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men” (Matthew 16:21-23). Jesus did not mince words in telling Peter he was out of line, so much so that he was siding with Satan on a matter of eternal importance. I imagine that Peter felt a little hurt and confused at why he had been so severely rebuked for his seemingly supportive words of the Savior. But I realized today that the Savior showed indeed “an increase of love” towards Peter shortly thereafter. In the next chapter (six days later), the Savior gave Peter (along with James and John) a most incredible spiritual experience: “Jesus taketh Peter, James, and John his brother, and bringeth them up into an high mountain apart. And was transfigured before them: and his face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light” (Matthew 17:1-2). Peter had a supernal vision that included Moses and Elias and in which he heard the voice of God Himself. This experience certainly showed him the love the Savior had for him and helped him see that the mistake he had made was not of permanent consequence.  The Savior did not dwell on Peter’s misunderstanding but moved on and gave him great knowledge despite his weakness and his sins. Jesus showed repeatedly throughout His ministry how to help others for whom we have stewardship: correct them when needed but love them always.

            Sister Runia added, “Listen for that voice that says good things about you—the voice of the Savior, your finest friend, and your Father in Heaven, who is really there. Remember, Their love and your worth are always great, no matter what!” And so too our love must always be great towards others, especially our children, even when they make mistakes and need correction. And no matter what they do, let us be the ones who repeatedly say good things about them.