Entitlement and Alma 1

A conversation I had yesterday led me to ask this question: how do we avoid having an attitude of entitlement? There is so much focus in our society today on what our rights are, what we deserve, what the government or other organizations should be doing for us, what we are entitled to because of who we are. How do I help myself and my children avoid developing that kind of attitude? I know I have a long way to go with my children because I often hear them tell me how they deserve something because one of their siblings received some privilege or ate some treat or had some fun activity that they didn’t. I sometimes call them the fairness police because they become so offended at anything that another happens to receive that they do not, readily calling out, “That’s NOT fair—I didn’t get one!” I think that Alma 1, part of this week’s Come, Follow Me lesson we are reading about, has some insight into what entitlement is and how we avoid it.

Surely Nehor was a prime example of what entitlement looks like. He, as a pretend priest and teacher, declared “unto the people that every priest and teacher ought to become popular; and they ought not to labor with their hands, but that they ought to be supported by the people.” He was convinced that he deserved to be taken care of by the people because he preached to them. He also tried to convince the people that they should be saved no matter what they did: “That they need not fear nor tremble, but that they might lift up their heads and rejoice; for the Lord had created all men, and had also redeemed all men; and, in the end, all men should have eternal life.” It doesn’t matter what you do, he seemed to be reasoning, because the Lord created you He owes it to you to save you. So strong was his feeling of entitlement that when Gideon stood before him and admonished him “with the words of God,” Nehor got so angry that he slew Gideon. He felt he deserved to be able to preach unobstructed and could not stand having his right to practice priestcraft challenged. Even after committing murder, he “pled for himself with much boldness” before Alma. He apparently still thought he deserved to be let off even though he had murdered someone (Alma 1:3-11). So how do we avoid developing a Nehor-like attitude?

There are several descriptions of the righteous saints in this same chapter, Alma 1, who showed us what it means to live without a sense of entitlement. “They were not proud in their own eyes,” and “they did impart the word of God, one with another, without money and without price” (v20). Also, “they were steadfast and immovable in keeping the commandments of God, and they bore with patience the persecution which was heaped upon them” (v25). After teaching, the priests “returned again diligently unto their labors; and the priest, not esteeming himself above his hearers, for the preacher was no better than the hearer, neither was the teacher any better than the learner; and thus they were all equal, and they did all labor, every man according to his strength” (v26). They also shared what they had with others: “And they did impart of their substance, every man according to that which he had, to the poor, and the needy, and the sick, and the afflicted…. They did not send away any who were naked, or that were hungry, or that were athirst, or that were sick, or that had not been nourished; and they did not set their hearts upon riches; therefore they were liberal to all,” (v27,30). These members of the church were humble patient, they labored for their own welfare, they did not think themselves above others, and they shared what they had with those in need. Surely those are the same attributes and attitudes that work against feelings of selfishness and entitlement. We have to humbly accept that we don’t merit anything of ourselves. We must learn to truly believe what King Benjamin taught about our relationship with God: “Ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast? And now I ask, can ye say aught of yourselves? I answer you, Nay. Ye cannot say that ye are even as much as the dust of the earth” (Mosiah 2:24-25). When we have truly internalized that fact, then we will not be so worried about getting what we deserve (since we don’t deserve anything) but will seek rather to humbly serve God and our fellow man and keep His commandments like these saints in Alma 1.