Filled With This Love

In Tolstoy’s War and Peace, the character Mary Bolkonski was full of faith in the Savior and love for those around her. Her brother Andrew was fairly recently married, but he seemed to feel little love for his wife. Mary sought to help her brother to treat his wife better and quoted these words from Laurence Sterne to him: “We don’t love people so much for the good they have done us, as for the good we have done them.” In other words, to love someone more we do not need them to do more for us; rather, we should strive to serve them more ourselves. This indeed sounds like a gospel paradox that fits in well with the teachings of the Savior: “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets” (Matthew 7:12). The Savior invited us always to serve and love others even when it seemed contrary to the natural man’s inclinations. For example, He told his apostles who struggled with feelings of wanting to be the greatest: “But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:26-28). If we want to be great, we should serve like the humblest servant. If we want to save our lives, we should lose them in service of the Savior. And if we want to feel love for others, we should serve and them and show love even if we do not feel it.

                Mary also suggested to her brother another way he could feel more love for his wife. Andrew complained to her: “If you want to know whether I am happy? No! Is she happy? No! But why this is so I don’t know.” I love Mary’s simple, faith-filled response: “Andrew, if you had faith you would have turned to God and asked Him to give you the love you do not feel, and your prayer would have been answered.” That is the second key I believe to developing love for those around us. Ultimately, as Mormon taught, true Christlike love for others is a gift from God, and we must seek that gift at His hand: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure” (Moroni 7:48). As Mary and Mormon both invite us, to be full of love towards others we must pray to the Lord with all our hearts, and in His time He will grant it to us.

                Shortly before this exchange before Mary and her brother, Mary wrote a letter to her close friend Julie. Speaking also of love she said, “Only it seems to me that Christian love, love of one’s neighbor, love of one’s enemy, is worthier, sweeter, and better than the feelings which the beautiful eyes of a young man can inspire in a romantic and loving young girl like yourself.” She then commented on the sudden wealth of a young man named Pierre (the main character of the novel) and she expressed her Christlike love for him in an interesting way: “I cannot agree with you about Pierre, whom I knew as a child. He always seemed to me to have an excellent heart, and that is the quality I value most in people. As to his inheritance and the part played by Prince Vasíli, it is very sad for both. Ah, my dear friend, our divine Saviour’s words, that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God, are terribly true. I pity Prince Vasíli but am still more sorry for Pierre. So young, and burdened with such riches—to what temptations he will be exposed! If I were asked what I desire most on earth, it would be to be poorer than the poorest beggar.” She felt not jealousy for the riches Pierre inherited but rather expressed her love through the sorrow she had that he would be burdened with such a difficult temptation (being rich).

                It is clear that Mary was fully devoted to following all the teachings of the Savior she found in the New Testament, full of faith in living the kind of life He prescribed. She expressed her feelings to Julie in these words, and I think they are a worthy invitation to all of us to focus on living by His holy word: “Let us rather confine ourselves to studying those sublime rules which our divine Saviour has left for our guidance here below. Let us try to conform to them and follow them, and let us be persuaded that the less we let our feeble human minds roam, the better we shall please God, who rejects all knowledge that does not come from Him; and the less we seek to fathom what He has been pleased to conceal from us, the sooner will He vouchsafe its revelation to us through His divine Spirit.”