The Imperfect Family of Jacob

Arguably the most prominent family in the scriptures, or at least the one most referred to, is Jacob/Israel and his children.  He had four wives, twelve sons, and one daughter, and their posterity became known as the House of Israel, a group discussed repeatedly throughout the scriptures.  Today we essentially equate the missionary work of the Church with the gathering together of this family, with the caveat that those who aren’t literal descendants of Jacob are adopted into the family.  Given the central place of this family in the scriptures, I have often wondered why, then, they had so many serious problems living righteously as a family.  As a whole they were not the shining example of obedience or family unity or love at home. 

               The book of Genesis recounts the numerous struggles and contentions that existed in their family. It started of course with Leah and Rachel who were sisters and both married Jacob.  But the account tells us that Jacob “loved also Rachel more than Leah” and this clearly caused a rift between these two sisters (Genesis 29:30).  Leah struggled to get the affection of Jacob, but then when Rachel bore no children she “envied her sister” and became upset with Jacob saying, “Give me children, or else I die.”  We read that “Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?” (Genesis 30:1-2)  Clearly there was plenty of contention and frustration between Jacob and his wives.  The children themselves also had their fair share of difficulty and strife.  Jacob’s daughter Dinah was defiled by Shechem, Simeon and Levi retaliated by slaying Shechem’s people, and this horrendous deed caused a rift between Jacob and these two sons: “Ye have troubled me to make me to stink among the inhabitants of the land” (Genesis 34:30).  Another son, Reuben, also did some nefarious deeds when he committed whoredoms with Bilhah, one of his fathers wives, which surely caused serious emotional damage in the family (Genesis 35:2).  And then of course there was Joseph who was loved by Jacob “more than all his children” which caused jealousy among the others such that “his brethren envied him.”  This led them to gang up on their younger brother and ultimately “sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver” and he went as a slave to Egypt (Genesis 37:11, 28).  The rivalry among the wives had made its way to the children, and the effects were even more devastating there.    

Clearly there were plenty of problems over the years among Jacob’s household: favoritism, jealousy, anger, violence, immorality, and some pretty evil acts were a part of the experiences of Jacob, his wives, and his children.  They were surely no perfect family, and yet they were still the family that was chosen to be a sort of representative of all families.  That’s not to say that any evil or wicked deeds done were justified by the Lord, but perhaps the message for us is that when our family too has serious problems with contention or jealousy or misunderstanding or violence or countless other kinds of challenges that plague our most important relationships, we need not feel that ours is the only family that had challenges.  We need not hang our heads down because our family doesn’t quite measure up to the gospel ideals; rather, we can be assured that all families have their serious problems and issues to work through.  But we can look to the one shining example from Jacob’s family who sought to repair these wrongs—Joseph.  He showed that even amidst brothers who tried to kill him, he could forgive and heal hearts and repair his family.  He chose not to continue the family problems of jealousy and revenge but rather through love brought healing to all.  We may not be able to fix all of our family issues in this life, but Joseph’s example gives us hope that if we personally will choose to love and forgive with all our hearts, wounds can be healed and the Lord can indeed bless our families.