Conquering Anger

To my son,

                I want to write to you about anger today. Anger is a feeling that we all experience, and it is a normal part of life to feel frustrated and upset as we deal with various challenges and learn to get along with other people. What is important is what we do with that anger when we feel it building inside of us. Do we make it grow and nurture it until it causes us to explode, or do we let it subside without acting upon it? The Savior gave us a warning about anger when He gave His famous Sermon on the Mount. The version in the book of Matthew in the Bible reads this way: “Whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire” (Matt. 5:22). The phrase “without a cause” makes is seem that we are justified in showing anger towards one another as long as we have a good reason to be angry. But when the Savior came and gave a similar sermon to the Nephites, you will notice that this phrase was not there: “I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of his judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council; and whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire” (3 Nephi 12:22). Here when He told us we should not be angry with one another, He did not give any exceptions. Now I don't believe the Savior is condemning us for feelings of anger that sometimes come even when we don't want them, but He is suggesting that we should not act in anger on those feelings. You will notice in this verse that He did say those who call their brother "Raca" or "fool" will be in danger of punishment. "Raca" was a derogatory term, and like calling someone a fool, equated to insulting or saying mean things in anger to another person. In other words, when we act out on our anger by putting someone else down, we have need to repent. Gratefully, when we do get angry or say things that we should not, the Lord will forgive us if we sincerely seek His repentance. 

                I want to encourage you today to focus on not acting out on the anger that you may feel from time to time. One of the best ways to do this is to simply wait responding to someone or something that has upset you until you have time to think calmly and clearly. Leave the room or the situation and let your mind gain control again. An ancient philosopher named Seneca once said, "The best remedy for anger is delay." As you take time to let the anger subside, when you don’t act immediately on feelings of hurt and frustration, you will be able to respond in a way more like how our Savior would want you to. And while it may seem in the moment that it is more gratifying to act out on anger, that will only leave us still frustrated and with regrets. But if we can slowly respond in patience and love instead when we are tempted to be angry, the Spirit will remain with us and we will be much happier in the long run. Most importantly, we can pray to the Lord for His help and strength whenever we feel anger or frustration, and He can help take away those negative feelings from us. 

Love,

Dad