Not Because Ye Forgive Not

One of the themes of section 64 of the Doctrine and Covenants is forgiveness. In what has become a well-known verse, the Lord commanded His Saints, “Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord.” We are commanded to forgive and leave judgment to God: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (v9-10). I believe this is speaking about the personal forgiveness we should offer in our heart for all people, whether they are repentant or not. But the subsequent instruction confirms that there are still consequences of unrepentant sin: “And him that repenteth not of his sins, and confesseth them not, ye shall bring before the church, and do with him as the scripture saith unto you, either by commandment or by revelation” (v12). In other words, those who seriously sin and repent not will come before their bishop or stake president in what are now called church membership councils, and there they are encouraged to repent and, if their sins are serious enough, their membership may be withdrawn. We might say, “But wait, I thought we were supposed to forgive all men?” The Lord seemed to anticipate that question with the next verse: “And this ye shall do that God may be glorified—not because ye forgive not, having not compassion, but that ye may be justified in the eyes of the law, that ye may not offend him who is your lawgiver” (v13). In other words, when the church administers consequences for sin it is not because the leaders involved do not personally forgive or do not have compassion; rather, it is because the Lord has commanded those who hold keys to be true to His law and commandments.

               I think there is perhaps a more general application of this idea in parenting and other aspects of our lives where we may have responsibility over others (whether secular or spiritual). Sometimes, we need do hard things in giving punishment or consequences when those we have stewardship over do not meet what is required of them. When a child, for example, hurts someone else intentionally, there needs to be some kind of consequence or punishment administered to help that child understand right and wrong and to encourage them to mend their ways. Similarly, in a classroom a teacher may need to give a bad grade to a student who simply does not meet the expectations. But this is “not because ye forgive not, having not compassion”—or at least it should not be—but rather this can be done out of love to help the person improve and out of respect of the relevant requirements that such punishment might be enforced. In other words, we can give undesirable consequences even while at the same time having compassion and forgiveness in our hearts for that person. I saw this just last night as my daughter lost her temper and disrespectfully yelled at us over something relatively minor, and my wife gave her a small consequence to give her a chance to cool off and come to her senses again. But she then screamed at us that we were not forgiving her. My wife calmly responded that she did forgive her, but that she still needed to go out and calm down and make right what was wrong with the situation. We cannot make allowance for sin, but we can forgive and we can compassionately seek to help others repent and receive forgiveness from the Lord. As He put it, “For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance; Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven” (Doctrine and Covenants 1:31-32).