Bringeth a Change of Heart

As Samuel the Lamanite spoke to the Nephites from atop the wall, he described how many of the Lamanites “do walk circumspectly before God, and they do observe to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments according to the law of Moses.” He said that they “have buried their weapons of war, and they fear to take them up lest by any means they should sin; yea, ye can see that they fear to sin—for behold they will suffer themselves that they be trodden down and slain by their enemies, and will not lift their swords against them, and this because of their faith in Christ.” This of course sounds like the parents of the stripling warriors, but that seems quite unlikely since those converted Lamanites were burying their weapons about 70 years before Samuel the Lamanite was preaching. Perhaps he was referring to some of those converted by Nephi and Lehi about 25 years before this time. Those Lamanites had taken over Zarahmela and “did lay down their weapons of war, and also their hatred and the tradition of their fathers” and “did yield up unto the Nephites the lands of their possession” (Helaman 5:51-52). Samuel may have even been among the number converted then. His point to the Nephites was the that they had been “firm and steadfast in the faith” since their conversion, unlike many of their Nephite counterparts ” (Helaman 15:5-9).  

In his description of these faithful Lamanites, Samuel said this: “And behold, ye do know of yourselves, for ye have witnessed it, that as many of them as are brought to the knowledge of the truth, and to know of the wicked and abominable traditions of their fathers, and are led to believe the holy scriptures, yea, the prophecies of the holy prophets, which are written, which leadeth them to faith on the Lord, and unto repentance, which faith and repentance bringeth a change of heart unto them.” I have thought much about this verse and the powerful lesson this teaches about how to develop real change in others. My wife and I have been struggling with how to help two of our children in particular who are often very disrespectful and hurtful to each other. As we have struggled with this we have found that seeking to change their behavior by telling them to be nice or giving undesirable consequences hasn’t gone very far to solve the underlying problem. What we need is a change of heart for them towards each other, and I believe that Samuel’s message for us is that for this we must find ways to lead them to true faith on the Lord and repentance. Instead of focusing on getting them to be nice in the moment, we must seek to help them gradually develop more faith in Jesus Christ and to truly see the need to repent and be accountable to the Lord. This is similar to the famous quote by President Packer: “True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.” Samuel suggested indeed that it was the study of the scriptures and the holy prophets that led the Lamanites to develop faith, repent, and ultimately change their hearts. They had to be able to truly see that their “traditions” were “wicked and abominable” so that they desired to change. Surely our own efforts to help these two children study the gospel in the scriptures and as taught by the prophets will go further to help them soften their hearts towards each other than trying to force the behavior we are looking for.

President Eyring taught this same principle when he said, “You could have limited success by calling a child to repent, for instance, of pride. You might try persuading children to share what they have more generously. You could ask them to stop feeling they are better than someone else in the family. But then you come to the symptom I described earlier as ‘They began to diminish in their faith in Jesus Christ.’ There is the key to leading your family to rise to that spiritual place you want for them—and for you to be there with them. As you help them grow in faith that Jesus Christ is their loving Redeemer, they will feel a desire to repent. As they do, humility will begin to replace pride. As they begin to feel what the Lord has given them, they will want to share more generously. Rivalry for prominence or recognition will diminish. Hate will be driven out by love.” So, we must seek to build faith in Jesus Christ in our children, to focus not in the moments when they are fighting to try to correct them but rather to find quiet moments to help them study the scriptures, pray, and talk about the principles of the gospel with them. Surely that is the best way we can inspire them to “bury” their own weapons against each other and become “firm and steadfast” in righteousness like the Lamanites of old.