How Can I Best Serve?

In Sheri Dew’s biography of President Nelson, Insights From a Prophet’s Life, she told this story about what happened shortly after the death of his first wife Dantzel: “With questions in his mind about how to move forward in his life, he met with President Gordon B. Hinckley and asked the church president if he had any counsel for him about remarrying. President Hinckley responded that it was entirely up to him, that different brethren, as he well knew, had handled this difficult circumstance in different ways. Elder Nelson pressed him with a second question. ‘Is it easier to assign me to serve if I have a wife?’ Put that way, President Hinckley replied that it was easier to be part of the rule than the exception to the rule. With that counsel, Elder Nelson knew that he should consider remarrying.” As I was in the temple this week I was reminded of this story, and as I pondered it I realized that it carries a great lesson for us in the choices that we make and the inspiration that we seek from our Father in Heaven. Elder Nelson’s first question was essentially, “What should I do?” The answer to that was, “You can do whatever you feel is best.” He could keep his covenants and continue to magnify his calling whether he married or not. His second question was in essence, “How can I best serve?” To that he got a specific answer that to best serve he should probably remarry. I wonder if sometimes we ask the Lord, “What should I do?” and His answer is similarly, “You can do as you choose—there are multiple good paths you can take.” But if we change the question to, “What can I do to best serve Thee and Thy Children?” perhaps we will sometimes get a more specific answer for how our specific talents might be used to bless His children the most.

I often pray about my own future and the choices that I should make, and my questions to the Lord are usually more like the first one that Elder Nelson posed. “What should I do?” and  “Help me to know the path I should take” are the kinds of things I might say. And since there are certainly multiple good paths I might take in my future, perhaps my answers not specific for one course of answer. The Lord respects our agency and many times there are numerous positive choices we can take and which are in accordance with the principles of the gospel. He declared to Enoch of His children: “They are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency” (Moses 7:32). He certainly wants us to use our agency to choose as described in a modern revelation: “That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according to the moral agency which I have given unto him” (Doctrine and Covenants 101:78). He also revealed, “All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence. Behold, here is the agency of man, and here is the condemnation of man; because that which was from the beginning is plainly manifest unto them, and they receive not the light” (Doctrine and Covenants 93:30-31). We have been given agency and we have the opportunity to receive and act upon the light that the Lord gives us, and He will not force or compel His children as He said here: “For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:26-28). The Lord wants us to use our own free will to do good things and does not want to compel us. But perhaps we will get more guidance from Him if, like in President Nelson’s second question, we express our sincere desire to serve Him in the best way we can. Perhaps in some instances He might say to our general question: “Routes A, B, and C are all good paths—choose what you feel is best.” But when we “press Him” for more insight into which path will lead us to serve His children in the most impactful way, it may be that then like it was for President Hinckley, He might encourage us in a more specific direction where our talents and experiences and skills can lead us to do the most good.