The Greatest Remedy for Anger

I have often thought about a quote I found when I was a teenager on one of those daily calendars with inspirational messages. It was apparently from Seneca (a Roman philosopher) and said this: “The greatest remedy for anger is delay.” While I do think this is great advice, as I read about Nephi’s experience with his brothers, and his struggle with their anger and his own frustrated feelings towards them, I decided we could improve upon the quote. I think we should say this instead: “A good remedy for anger is delay; the greatest remedy for anger is to pray.” It was earnest prayer that helped Nephi through his struggles facing angry brothers and feeling anger towards them. He wrote, “Laman and Lemuel and the sons of Ishmael were angry with me because of the admonitions of the Lord” (2 Nephi 4:13). This had been Nephi’s experience for decades—his brethren were constantly angry with him “because they understood not the dealings of the Lord” and “because they hardened their hearts against the Lord” (Mosiah 10:13). Understandably, Nephi felt anger towards them because of their belligerence. He didn’t want to feel angry, though, and wrote in agony about his own weakness, “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities…. Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?” (2 Nephi 4:17, 27) And so how did Nephi overcome his feelings? How did he deal with this anger? He turned to God in pleading prayer for help.

               As Nephi sorted through his feelings of anger towards his brethren, he ultimately turned to God for strength and help. After telling himself to awake and rejoice and put away his sin, he prayed, “O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!” He summarized what he knew the Lord would do for him: “Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God” (2 Nephi 4:31-32, 35). When faced with anger, he turned his heart to the Lord in mighty prayer. In the very next verse (but across chapter lines), Nephi summarized what that meant for him: “Behold, it came to pass that I, Nephi, did cry much unto the Lord my God, because of the anger of my brethren” (2 Nephi 5:1). Prayer was, I believe, the key for him to overcome his anger and subsequently receive the revelation about what to do. He didn’t confront them or fight them; he fled and saved himself and the other believers as the tensions escalated and his brothers sought again to kill him. Prayer softened his heart so that he could see clearly and know what he needed to do.

               And so, as we face difficult situations or challenging relationships in our own lives, like Nephi we must first turn to prayer for help and guidance and, most importantly, to soften our own hearts. The hymn Did You Think to Pray? questions us this way: “When your heart was filled with anger, Did you think to pray? Did you plead for grace, my brother, That you might forgive another Who had crossed your way?” Certainly, to delay in the face of anger and tension is very wise, but to pray is truly the key to change our hearts and “change the night to day.” Then, like Nephi, we will be able to see clearly and receive the Lord’s needed help.