Live Together in Love

To my son,

                Recently your aunt had twins, and we have had the opportunity to see them and help them out a little. You may not know this, but my maternal grandfather was also a twin. You never met him because he passed away about five years before you were born. He was a patient and unassuming man who was very good with his hands and was always there to lend help. I remember how he would frequently come to our house when I was young to help with projects such as wallpapering the walls (for some reason it was popular then to cover your walls with glued-on paper with designs on it) or fixing appliances. He was a veteran of WWII, though I don’t remember ever hearing him talk about it. He served his country with honor in the Philippines and in the occupation of Japan after the war officially ended. He was a man of faith, though he showed it in quiet ways and never wanted the spotlight on himself. For much of his working years he was a mailman, and a news article published about your great-grandfather quoted one person who received mail from him: “I don’t know what it is about him, but he seems to bring sunshine and warmth with him even when it’s raining. He’s always smiling.” That’s the kind of person he was. He spent the final years of his life battling Parkinson’s disease, and he indeed endured that well. His obituary summarized, “His patience and good nature throughout the disease was a remarkable example to all around him.” I was privileged to give him a priesthood blessing shortly before he passed away (not long after I returned from my mission). One of the distinct impressions I received in that blessing was how much good his posterity was doing and would continue to do. You and I are a part of that posterity, and we can carry on that legacy of goodness along with many others. His obituary summed up his traits this way: “He was a great example of strength, steadfastness, kindness, sacrifice and commitment to God, family, and country.” I hope we can remember his example and strive to have the kind of patience, humility, and giving heart he had.

               Of course, like the rest of us your great-grandfather was not perfect. One thing that I imagine he may have regretted was that he never got along well with his twin brother. They had a falling out at some point when they were relatively young, and as far as I am aware they never really got along or spent much time with each other after that. They died only about four years apart, and I have to think that since that time they have been able to make amends and forgive old hurts. I write this not to judge him but to encourage you and me to try to make our family relationships better and filled with more connection and kindness. The Lord gave us this simple commandment in our dispensation: “Thou shalt live together in love” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:45). Sometimes living with other people causes us to be more aware of the peculiarities and their faults. We tend to magnify our differences, forgetting to show the love that we really have for them. That should not be the case: we must live each day with our family as if it could be the last—for indeed we never know when the Lord will take one of us home to Him. And how devastated we would be if our last words to them were unkind or our last actions towards them were mean. With the stresses and busyness of daily life it can be hard to always show love, but both you and I can strive to do better and help our home be a place welcome for all of us. Some day you will leave the house and go out on your own, and I earnestly hope that when you do you will have strong bonds with all your siblings and desire to be a part of their life now and in the eternities.

Love, Dad