Preserve the Fruit

In the allegory of the tame and wild olive trees in Jacob 5, the Lord of the vineyard described his purpose in caring for the trees this way: “I do it that I may preserve unto myself the natural branches of the tree; and also, that I may lay up fruit thereof against the season, unto myself” (v13). He repeated this goal of laying up fruit multiple times. He said in another verse, “And now, behold, I shall lay up much fruit, which the tree thereof hath brought forth; and the fruit thereof I shall lay up against the season, unto mine own self” (v18). He continued, “Come, let us go to the nethermost part of the vineyard, and behold if the natural branches of the tree have not brought forth much fruit also, that I may lay up of the fruit thereof against the season, unto mine own self” (v19). When He felt that time was running out, the Lord of the vineyard emphasized again, “For behold, the time draweth near, and the end soon cometh; wherefore, I must lay up fruit against the season, unto mine own self” (v29). Towards the end of the allegory He gathered more help and explained to them, “If ye labor with your might with me ye shall have joy in the fruit which I shall lay up unto myself against the time which will soon come” (v71). His ultimate goal was to preserve the fruit from the trees. This reminds me of the Savior’s teachings to His apostles as He prepared to perform the atonement. He said, “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing…. Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you” (John 15:5, 16). He wanted them to bring forth fruit by helping others receive the gospel of Jesus Christ and obtain eternal life. And that is what He desires for all of us and what He has always worked for: “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). That is the fruit—our immortality and eternal life—that He and every prophet has labored to bring forth and preserve.

                For me as a parent the most important fruit that I am trying to bring forth is in my children. As I pondered this morning what it might mean for me to “lay up fruit” for them and “preserve” it, I was reminded of my need to praise and congratulate their righteous efforts. I have known for a long time the importance of praise in raising children—giving them consistent, positive feedback for any and all efforts they make to do good things while minimizing negative feedback—and yet I still hold back too often from adequately doing this. But if I want that good fruit they are starting to bring forth to last, even though it is mixed with some bitter fruit, then surely I need to do all that I can to preserve it with praise. President Benson said, “Praise your children more than you correct them. Praise them for even their smallest achievement.” President Holland similarly encouraged, “Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture’s obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are ‘enough.’” As our children bring forth the smallest “good fruit” in the actions they do, including any attempts to do what is right and live the gospel of Jesus Christ, we should strive to praise and encourage and recognize that effort.    

BYU professors Brent L. Top and Bruce A. Chadwick spent over a decade studying more than 5000 teens from the Church to understand “the effect of faith, friends, and family in helping youth resist temptation and live the standards of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” As part of their findings, they wrote this, “It is important for parents (and leaders and teachers) to understand the powerful impact praise, acceptance, and encouragement have on a child’s sense of individual worth and confidence…. Parents can and should look for opportunities to praise their children. Children’s accomplishments need not be monumental to deserve parental recognition and praise. Children, particularly adolescents, thrive on recognition and acceptance. The youth in our study who reported the most confidence and who felt best about themselves had regularly received praise and positive reinforcement from their parents. On the other hand, those with low levels of both spirituality and confidence overwhelmingly reported that they received far more criticism than praise from their parents and rarely felt respected and acceptable. ‘In my teenage years I was kind of emotionally unstable because of my low self-esteem,’ one young adult reported. ‘Sometimes I felt and still feel like I can never do anything good enough for my parents. I feel like I can never meet their expectations.’… Children who are praised and recognized for their efforts as well as their deeds generally try harder to do even better.” Ultimately what they need most is our love and encouragement so they can bring forth the fruit that the Savior desires for them. We preserve their good fruit with sincere praise and with the same kind of love and attention that the Lord of the vineyard paid to His trees in this allegory. As President Joseph F. Smith taught, “If you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them! and prove … that you do love them by your every word and act to[ward] them.”