How Shall I Go Up?

In the story of the reunion between Joseph and his brothers, Judah’s role is symbolic of the Savior. After the brothers had been to Egypt once, Jacob asked them to go back to get more food. Judah insisted that they must take Benjamin with them because Joseph had demanded it. He said to Jacob, “Send the lad with me, and we will arise and go; that we may live, and not die, both we, and thou, and also our little ones. I will be surety for him; of my hand shalt thou require him: if I bring him not unto thee, and set him before thee, then let me bear the blame for ever” (Genesis 43:8-9). He took it upon himself to watch over Benjamin knowing how much his father loved his youngest son. Jacob finally let them go and they met with Joseph again for food. As they left, Joseph had his silver cup secretly put in Benjamin’s sack, and after they left Joseph had them stopped and it was discovered that Benjamin had the cup. Benjamin was accused of stealing, and the brothers were so distraught that “they rent their clothes.” Judah was overcome and with grief and sorrow knelt down before Joseph. He exclaimed, “What shall we say unto my lord? what shall we speak? or how shall we clear ourselves? God hath found out the iniquity of thy servants: behold, we are my lord’s servants, both we, and he also with whom the cup is found.” Judah sought to explain their situation and why it was so important that Benjamin be able to return to their father. He pled with Joseph, “Oh my lord, let thy servant, I pray thee, speak a word in my lord’s ears, and let not thine anger burn against thy servant: for thou art even as Pharaoh…. Now therefore when I come to thy servant my father, and the lad be not with us; seeing that his life is bound up in the lad’s life; It shall come to pass, when he seeth that the lad is not with us, that he will die: and thy servants shall bring down the gray hairs of thy servant our father with sorrow to the grave. For thy servant became surety for the lad unto my father, saying, If I bring him not unto thee, then I shall bear the blame to my father for ever. Now therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide instead of the lad a bondman to my lord; and let the lad go up with his brethren” (Genesis 44:13, 16, 18, 30-33). Judah pled for the life of his brother and offered to suffer in prison in his stead.

Judah’s words remind me of those of the Savior to the Father for each of us: “Father, behold the sufferings and death of him who did no sin, in whom thou wast well pleased; behold the blood of thy Son which was shed, the blood of him whom thou gavest that thyself might be glorified; Wherefore, Father, spare these my brethren that believe on my name, that they may come unto me and have everlasting life” (Doctrine and Covenants 45:4-5). Jesus pleads with the Father for us to be spared and for His suffering to count on our behalf. The question that Judah subsequently posed to Joseph is so poignant: “For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me?” (Genesis 44:34) This shows the change that had taken place in Judah (and the other brothers) in the 22 years since Joseph had been sold into slavery. For in that instance, they indeed went up to their father, and the lad not with them, without any concern. In this instance, though, as a type of the Savior, Judah was desperate to not break the vow he had made to bring Benjamin home. This reminds us of the intercessory prayer of the Savior when He said to the Father, “While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled” (John 17:12). The Savior has promised the Father that He would lose none (but the son of perdition) just as Judah promised that he would not lose the son given to his care. The Savior fulfilled His promise through His great atoning sacrifice and providing a way for all to ultimately inherit a kingdom of glory. Similarly, Judah was ready to fulfil his commitment to his father by suffering in the place of Benjamin before Joseph. Ultimately he didn’t have to, for Joseph seemed to just want to see what was in his brothers’ hearts before revealing himself. And mercy in the end won the day as Joseph declared, “And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance” (Genesis 45:7). And mercy likewise saves us through the sacrifice of the Son of God who gave Himself for all the sons and daughters of God. For He too could have said in His great love, “How shall I go up to the Father, and this child (each of us) be not with me?”