Patience, Gentleness, and Perfect Love

In the most recent general conference, Elder Taniela B. Wakolo taught this: “The temple stands as a symbol of hope, not pressure. The gospel of Jesus Christ is not a wedge to divide families but a bridge to unite them eternally. We must ensure that our discipleship reflects the Savior’s patience, His gentleness, and His perfect love.” He then told several stories about families who were divided in terms of their faith and how patience and faith, not pressure, helped to bring them together. Elder Wakolo said, “Brothers and sisters, the Lord honors patient faith. And it is never too late for miracles.” He then told this story, “In Fiji, I know of a faithful wife who waited eight long years for her husband to join the Church. Eight years of attending church alone while her husband remained uninterested and hesitant. Yet she did not withdraw. She did not resent. She served. When the wife received her patriarchal blessing, she was promised that if she remained true and faithful, a day would come when her husband would take her to the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity. Over eight years and 24 missionaries later, the husband was baptized and the couple was sealed in the house of the Lord.” The story highlights that we must respect agency and that we should not unduly pressure one another in spiritual matters, especially in our families. We need more faith and patience, not fighting and pressure. He summarized, “I witness that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know every family represented in these stories. They know the tears, the prayers, and the patience. They know the feelings of every waiting spouse, every praying heart, and every child. They know every sacred promise. These things remind us that conversion is personal. Timing is individual. Agency is sacred…. The Savior never forces. He invites. He blesses. He fulfills promises according to faith and faithfulness.” His message reminds us that we should seek patience, longsuffering, gentleness, and love as we interact with others and seek to bring them and us unto the Savior.

            Elder Wakolo mentioned the Savior’s “patience, gentleness, and His perfect love.” I think we see all of those traits in His actions during His atonement and final hours. As He prayed in the garden He said, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” Though He asked for relief, He expressed His commitment to continuing with His mission in perfect patience. He showed gentleness when He then approached the sleeping apostles, “What, could ye not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Though this was a kind of rebuke, He softened it by suggesting that their failing was because of the flesh. He invited them to change while speaking gently with them despite His own agony (Matthew 26:39-41). He showed incredible love when Peter cut off the right ear of Malchus as Jesus was being illegally arrested: “And Jesus answered and said, Suffer ye thus far. And he touched his ear, and healed him.” He showed unbelievable gentleness as He was mocked before the Jews’ illegal court. When the high priest questioned Him, He responded gently but firmly, “I spake openly to the world; I ever taught in the synagogue, and in the temple, whither the Jews always resort; and in secret have I said nothing. Why askest thou me? ask them which heard me, what I have said unto them: behold, they know what I said.” John recorded, “And when he had thus spoken, one of the officers which stood by struck Jesus with the palm of his hand, saying, Answerest thou the high priest so?” Having just been struck in the face, the calm, patient, and humble (but not weak) reply of the Savior was this: “If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil: but if well, why smitest thou me?” There was far more power in those gentle words than in what the officer had just done to Him.

            To me one of the most powerful moments of those final hours of the Savior’s life was when He bore witness to Pilate both with gentleness and firmness. We read, “Pilate therefore said unto him, Art thou a king then? Jesus answered, Thou sayest that I am a king. To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth. Every one that is of the truth heareth my voice” (John 18:37). He did not deny His mission or even downplay His role as the true King of Jews. But He also did not boast or rail or criticize or attack. He simply bore witness of the truth with patience and love, inviting Pilate and all of us to hear His voice. He showed patience, gentleness, and love throughout His whole mission, but especially in those last hours as He humbly stood tall through the suffering and fulfilled with perfect grace the mission the Father had given Him. His example invites us to strive to do likewise in all our interactions with those around us.