Things That You See Your Father Do

Charles Dickens had a way of creating characters utterly repulsive to the reader because they are such self-righteous hypocrites. One of these is Mr. Squeers in Nicholas Nickleby who in the novel owns a boys’ house with his wife. They are terribly cruel to the boys but put on airs to everyone else that they were like a loving father and mother to the poor boys. One of those boys whom they tormented was named Smike, and he escaped near the beginning of the novel with the help of Nicholas. Later on in the story Smike ran into Mr. Squeers and his son in the street in London. They grabbed onto Smike and would not let him go, taking him captive to drag him back to the boys’ house. Mr. Squeers was overjoyed to have his prisoner back, and once again started beating him in the coach, declaring, “I never threshed a boy in a hackney coach before, There’s inconveniency in it, but the novelty gives it a sort of relish, too!” After capturing Smike, his son, the little Wackford, proudly turned to his father for affirmation saying, “Didn’t I catch hold of his leg, neither, father?” To this Mr. Squeers replied, “You did; like a good ‘un, my boy, and you shall have the best button-over jacket and waistcoat that the next new boy brings down, as a reward of merit. Mind that. You always keep on in the same path, and do them things that you see your father do, and when you die you’ll go right slap to Heaven and no questions asked.” What he meant was that the boy would be rewarded by receiving clothes from the next boy that came to their house (Mr. Squeers always stole anything of value the boys brought). I was struck with his statement to his son that if he would do what he saw his father do, Wackford would go straight to heaven. Certainly that would not be the case, but his words beg the question for parents: if our children do what they see us do, will that lead them home to heaven? For Mr. Squeers his actions were completely inconsistent with the person he pretended to be to the outside world. His story invites us to consider whether our actions match our professed beliefs, and whether those who see us up close (like our children) should want to follow our example.    

            Recently I went to a drivers ed meeting with my daughter who is learning to drive, and they asked parents something like this: “If your children drive exactly like you, will you be happy?” That made me think about my own habits of driving and which I would perhaps not want her to pick up. An even more important question is whether we would be happy if they became the kind of person that we are. This reminds me of the words that Jesus spoke in His mortal ministry, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise” (John 5:19). He did the works of His Father, and that led Him to do no sin and yield to no temptation. He also declared, “And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him” (John 8:29). Jesus did exactly what His Father did, precisely what His Father wanted, and He became a perfect image of His Father. As parents do we want our children to become like us? The Lord commanded us, “Inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents…. And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord” (Doctrine and Covenants 68:25, 28). Parents are to teach their children about repentance, faith, baptism, the Holy Ghost, and prayer, and surely all of those things are best taught by example. And they will learn to “walk uprightly before the Lord” most effectively if they see us do exactly that. One of the reasons that the Savior came to mortality was to show us an example of how to live, inviting us, “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27). We will of course fall short of that mark, but as we try to follow Him we can hope that our children will follow us. We should strive to live so that the words of Mr. Squeers are actually true for us: “You always keep on in the same path, and do them things that you see your father do, and when you die you’ll go right slap to Heaven and no questions asked.”