Teach Them to Understand

This morning I listened to a devotional that Elder Bednar gave at BYU-Idaho nearly 30 years ago which my sister referred me to. He referenced these words of the Savior spoken to the people in the land Bountiful after His first day of teaching them: “Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again” (3 Nephi 17:3). Elder Bednar made this observation, “What a marvelous formula! (1) Go to your home, (2) ponder upon the things that have been said, (3) ask of the Father in Christ's name that you will understand, and (4) prepare your mind for additional instruction. Even though the most powerful teacher who ever lived was in their midst and instructing these people, yet He, Jesus Christ, recognized that true understanding would come in the home. I find it powerful and significant that Christ emphasized the setting of the home as the place for understanding the doctrines of the gospel.” The Savior knew they would not learn everything in His presence—they needed to go home, pray, and come to understanding there. This talk was given long before the Church started to emphasize “home-centered, Church-supported” gospel learning, but clearly Elder Bednar’s message aligns perfectly with that.

            If we believe these words of the Savior, then we should strive to indeed make our homes a place where we can learn the gospel with our families. I appreciated the perspective that Elder Bednar gave, encouraging us to consider our priorities. He related his experience as a stake president: “As I interviewed members of the Church, frequently I would inquire, ‘Tell me about personal and family prayer in your home.’ ‘Well, President, we know we should do that but we don't do it as consistently as we ought to.’ ‘How about family scripture study?’ ‘It just seems that with our hectic schedules as we all go in different directions, we just never seem to get that done.’ Then, without trying to be too biting or too pointed, I would ask, ‘Please help me understand what it is in your life that is so important that you cannot make time for these spiritually essential activities.’ These activities invite the Spirit of the Holy Ghost. It is not just a matter of checking them off a ‘to do’ list so we do not feel guilty. It is a matter of inviting the spirit of revelation and the protection of the Holy Ghost for me, for you, and for our children.” Family life indeed gets filled up with so many activities, and it can take great effort to make time for prayer and family scripture study. But, if at the end of the day I have succeeded in getting my children to music lessons and enabled them to participate in sports activities and helped them get homework done, but we haven’t spent any time in the scriptures or in prayer, surely we are, like Esau, giving up what matters most “for a bowl of red bean soup.” Elder Bednar continued, “Think of the evil influences in the world. Will the Church and its programs alone safeguard you and me and our children in an increasingly wicked world? The answer is no. Please do not misunderstand this statement--I would not trust my children exclusively to the programs of the Church. I love the Church, but the Church operates as a support to you and to me as we create a home that is a house of learning. First and foremost, the responsibility is ours as parents to create a Christ-centered, spirit-filled home environment where the Holy Ghost can teach and testify to our children. If they know the why, they will quickly learn the how.” Getting our children to Church—as hard as that is sometimes—is not enough. We have to strive to preach to them the gospel of Jesus Christ in our homes so that the Holy Ghost can take it into their hearts.

            One of the scriptures that Elder Bednar quoted is Doctrine and Covenants 68:25, perhaps the most important verse about parenting in modern revelation: “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.” We are responsible not just to teach our children, but to teach them so they understand the principles of the gospel. Surely that is to happen both through example and through studying the gospel together in our homes. And to those of us whose lives are so busy with good activities that we can’t seem to find time for the gospel in our homes, the words of Haggai are a powerful reminder: “Consider your ways” (Haggai 1:5).