What Wyatt Taught Me

“I love you. I don’t want to leave you.” Those were the final words of a courageous five-year-old boy named Wyatt, as recounted by his sister, before he passed away of leukemia this last Saturday.  The words have been ringing in my head as I have mourned his passing and pondered his funeral I attended yesterday with my family.  He was the son of my wife’s cousin, and after spending months following his story and praying and fasting and hoping for his recovery, we were devastated to see his treatments fail and the cancer take his pure and precious life.  I can’t begin to imagine the heart-wrenching experience of watching your little boy express his love and longing to be with you, only to be powerless to save him and see him slip from your presence for the rest of your life.  His incredible father quoted these words at the funeral from the Prophet Joseph Smith, who certainly knew something about losing children: “The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.”  Even with that knowledge and faith that we cling to in the gospel, the pain is no less acute and real, and we weep even as the Lord said: “Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:45).

               Those few words from a valiant young boy have been teaching me since yesterday as I ponder my own relationship with my children and family.  I realize just a little bit more that I could lose any of them at any time—life is fragile and we cannot know when someone may be taken from us.  And so I do not know what my last words to a child or loved one will be—will they be an expression of kindness and love and care and affection, or will my final words be something I would regret?  Can I live in such a way that my children love me and don’t want to leave me?  In the most recent general conference Elder Holland spoke about the reconciliation that we all need, and most especially that we need within our families.  He quoted these words of a 19^th century clergyman: “You who are letting … [someone’s] heart ache for a word of appreciation or sympathy, which you mean to give … some day, … go instantly and do the thing which you might never have another chance to do.”  Today is the day to forgive and let go of grudges.  Today is the day to speak gently and express words of kindness.  Today is the day to hug my children and show them they are more important to me than all my other distractions.  Today is the day to tell then I love them and that I want to be with them forever.  And I pray that I can live so that their feelings to me are like Wyatt’s to his incredible family: “I love you.  I don’t want to leave you.”