Remember Them No More

To my son,

                Recently I have been listening to a book called The Brothers Karamazov, and I was impressed by the account of one of the characters named Dmitri. The story takes place in Russia, and he was a young man full of emotion who struggled in the face of temptation. He had a friend named Katya who gave him 3000 roubles, a large sum of money, and asked him to send it for her to someone else. The temptation was too great for him, and instead of sending it he took half of it (1500) for himself and spent it extravagantly in a single night on a group of his friends. After that he kept the other 1500 in a secret pouch around his neck and he struggled with himself to know what to do. In that time he turned somewhat violent. He recounted later, “Every day that I had that fifteen hundred sewn up round my neck, every day and every hour I said to myself, ‘You’re a thief! you’re a thief!’ Yes, that’s why I’ve been so savage all this month, that’s why I fought in the tavern, that’s why I attacked my father, it was because I felt I was a thief…. But, do you know, while I carried it I said to myself at the same time every hour: ‘No, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, you may yet not be a thief.’ Why? Because I might go next day and pay back that fifteen hundred to Katya.” In the midst of this struggle of his conscience he hit rock bottom and decided life wasn’t even worth living anymore, and he gave up fighting with himself and pulled out the rest of the money. He spent much of it again in a night, and after a series of complicated events he found himself the next day charged with a crime he didn’t commit. He explained himself to the investigators this way: “I thought it made no difference whether I died a thief or a man of honor. But I see it’s not so, it turns out that it does make a difference. Believe me, gentlemen, what has tortured me most during this night… [was the] consciousness that I had torn that money off my breast at last and spent it, and had become a downright thief! Oh, gentlemen, I tell you again, with a bleeding heart, I have learnt a great deal this night. I have learnt that it’s not only impossible to live a scoundrel, but impossible to die a scoundrel.... No, gentlemen, one must die honest.” In other words, he was tormented with the knowledge that he had stolen and his dishonesty led him to a misery for that month that he struggled with himself to know if he would try to make right his wrong and return the money. When he thought it didn’t matter and he used up the rest of the money as well, he realized that he became even more tormented because he knew then that he was indeed a thief. His experience is summarized well by Isaiah: “But the wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked” (Isaiah 57:20-21). When we do wrong when we know what is right, we are indeed like a troubled sea until we can make it right with ourselves and with God.

                While this story is a sobering one, the scriptures promise us that the good news of the gospel is that through repentance we can always put our past behind us. Through the power of the Savior’s atonement, He can forgive us completely and change us so that it will be like our sins never took place. I love the language of Micah that we read about recently in our scripture study: “Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy. He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:18-19). I love that imagery! When we repent, it will be as if the Lord casts our sins into the depths of the sea where they are gone forever. In our dispensation the Savior put it more directly in this beautiful language: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” And how do we repent? The Lord said it simply this way in the next verse: “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:42-43). If we will confess to the Lord, and stop doing whatever we have done which is wrong, He promises to forgive us and He will not remember our sins anymore—they will be gone forever. I know that each of us needs repentance; it is a gift and not something to be afraid of or see as a punishment. I know that seeking forgiveness from the Lord provides a peace and happiness that we cannot find anywhere else. Thank you for striving to make good choices in your life and know that you have a Savior who is “mighty to save”—no matter what mistakes we might make in life, as we turn to Him, He will “cleanse [us] from all unrighteousness” (Alma 7:14).  

Love,

Dad