Doest Thou Well to Be Angry?

To my daughter, 

                In a large family we naturally have disagreements and contentions that arise among us. It can be challenging to maintain the peace that we want to have when one or more us becomes angry and speaks harshly to others. It takes work for each of us to control our anger and turn it away instead of acting upon it. In the presence of anger I often think of a line from the book of Jonah. This ancient prophet was not happy with how things had turned out for him, and he didn’t like the fact that his enemies were being blessed by the Lord. We read, “It displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was very angry.” He complained to the Lord that He was “merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness” towards the Assyrians because he didn’t like them. In despair he said, “O Lord, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live.” He was so upset about the forgiveness the Lord has showed to the people of Ninevah that he thought he might as well die. That sounds quite absurd to us looking back, but I think we often find ourselves doing something similar. I love this simple question that the Lord responded with: “Doest thou well to be angry?” (Jonah 4:1-4) That is a question that we should ask ourselves whenever we are angry, especially when we are mad about someone else getting something we didn’t receive. Often in our home if one child gets some good thing that another didn’t get, that other person gets mad and yells about the injustice of the situation. Like Jonah, they are mad that mercy and good fortune fell upon another. But in that moment they would do well to ask themselves this question: “Doest thou well to be angry?” Of course if they answer honestly, the answer will be no. I hope that when you face a situation that you think is unfair and it starts to make you mad, you will repeat this question to yourself and remember that one person’s good fortune does no injury to you.

                There is a parable that Jesus taught that highlights the same principle. In the story of the laborers in the vineyard, a householder went into the city to hire workers for the day. He found an initial set of workers and promised them a penny for their work for the day (that penny must have been worth a lot more than a penny in our money today!). The story continues this way, “And he went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace, And said unto them; Go ye also into the vineyard, and whatsoever is right I will give you. And they went their way. Again he went out about the sixth and ninth hour, and did likewise. And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and saith unto them, Why stand ye here all the day idle? They say unto him, Because no man hath hired us. He saith unto them, Go ye also into the vineyard; and whatsoever is right, that shall ye receive.” So he hired more people throughout the day who didn’t have work, and he promised all of them that they would receive a just recompense for their labors. At the day’s end he gathered them to pay them, and he gave the last group that he hired—those of the eleventh hour who only worked for one hour—a penny. When those who were hired at the beginning of the day, who had worked twelve hours, found out about it they were angry because they received the same amount: “They murmured against the goodman of the house, Saying, These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.” He responded to them, “Friend, I do thee no wrong: didst not thou agree with me for a penny? Take that thine is, and go thy way: I will give unto this last, even as unto thee.” He then asked this powerful question that we should all consider when we feel someone else gets something better than what we have received, “Is thine eye evil, because I am good?” (Matthew 20:1-15) In other words, this group who worked the whole day were angry that the householder showed kindness to another group who, although they hadn’t worked the entire day, had surely worried all day about the fact that they didn’t have enough money to feed their families. The householder’s gift of paying them a full wage surely was a lifesaver for them. And so if someone else receives good fortune, we need not be angry or get mad that it wasn’t very fair to us but instead we can be happy for them. We need not see evil when someone else is good. I hope that you and I can do our part in the family to replace anger with love and to show happiness when the Lord blesses any of us. I promise that it is far more enjoyable to be happy for someone else than to be miserable for ourselves! 

Love,

Dad