Forgive Them

President Nelson recently posted this video in conjunction with Easter. He talked about forgiveness, quoting the Savior’s words on the cross: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). He told the story of the Hatfield family that he shared several years ago in general conference. Two of their girls died under his hand in a heart operation, and he recounted, “Over time, I learned that they harbored lingering resentment toward me and the Church. For almost six decades, I have been haunted by this situation and have grieved for the Hatfields. I tried several times to establish contact with them, without success.” He shared how those two girls visited him and pleaded for him to help their family become sealed. He continued, “Emboldened by the pleadings of Laural Ann and Gay Lynn, I tried again to contact their father, who I learned was living with his son Shawn. This time they were willing to meet with me. In June, I literally knelt in front of Jimmy, now 88 years old, and had a heart-to-heart talk with him. I spoke of his daughters’ pleadings and told him I would be honored to perform sealing ordinances for his family.” This father and son did forgive him, and President Nelson was able to seal those same two daughters who had died in his operating room to their family forever. I was struck in particular by how he spoke of them, both in the video and in this talk: “I have marveled at Jimmy and Shawn and what they were willing to do. They have become heroes to me. If I could have the wish of my heart, it would be that each man and young man in this Church would demonstrate the courage, strength, and humility of this father and son. They were willing to forgive and let go of old hurts and habits.” Rather than be bothered by how they had been angry with him and the Church—when he had simply done his very best as a surgeon to save them—he focused on their faith and praised their willingness to change. Clearly he forgave them for their attitude to him over those many years.

                President Nelson’s invitation to us was to look for people we need to forgive in our own lives. My favorite scripture on forgiveness are these words from the Savior: “Forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again” (Luke 6:38). When we measure grain with measuring cups, we typically strive to be precise and fill the cup to the top without going over—we don’t want to have any more than the recipe calls for. But when we measure forgiveness, it should be “running over”—in other words, we should give it willingly and in excess and without concern for giving too much. Our forgiveness should come be given freely without reservation, just like the way my three-year-old pours out cinnamon on her food (and the counter and the floor and everywhere else). It’s usually all gone after she gets a hold of the container, and more than once we have had to give her a bath because she had cinnamon all over herself after some unsupervised time experimenting with it. As the Savior put it elsewhere: “Freely ye have received, freely give” (Matthew 10:8). He has indeed freely received forgiveness from Him many times, and we must strive to freely give that same forgiveness to those around us, especially to those who are closest to us. Ultimately though He tells us to forgive, we need His help to do it when our heart struggles to follow the desires of our mind. Just as the father of the child in need said to Jesus, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief,” we too can say to Him, “Lord, I forgive; help thou my unforgivingness” (Mark 9:24).