It Was Not You But God

I was struck by a conversation between Mary Bolkonski and her brother Andrew In Tolstoy’s War and Peace. Andrew had just been rejected by his fiancé Natasha and was angry. Mary, full of faith in God, tried to encourage him in these words, “Andrew! One thing I beg, I entreat of you! Don’t imagine that sorrow is the work of men. Men are His tools. Sorrow is sent by Him, not by men. Men are His instruments, they are not to blame. If you think someone has wronged you, forget it and forgive! We have no right to punish. And then you will know the happiness of forgiving.” As he departed she said again, “Remember that misfortunes come from God, and men are never to blame.” I have been pondering this statement because at the surface it goes contrary to how we typically would explain some of the terrible things that happen to people. We would say that men cause other people’s suffering sometimes, and in that case God is not to blame for the suffering inflicted on others. Mary’s argument was the opposite to her brother: men don’t cause suffering, but God does. While I have some reservations about her statement, I believe there is great wisdom in seeing even the bad things that happen to us as part of a grand plan that God has for us. While we perhaps wouldn’t say that God put Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail, what happened there was used for his good and refined him such that he could finish the work God had prepared for him. The Lord put it this way: “If the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (Doctrine and Covenants 122:7). All experiences in this life, even those we feel have been inflicted upon us unjustly by the bad choices of others, can be for our good if we trust in God. Whatever happens to us in life, God can turn it for our good, just as He promised: “Therefore, let your hearts be comforted; for all things shall work together for good to them that walk uprightly, and to the sanctification of the church” (Doctrine and Covenants 100:15).   

                Considering further Mary’s statement to her brother, the story of Joseph who was sold into Egypt comes to mind. After his brothers betrayed him, nearly killed him, and sent him as a slave to Egypt, Joseph endured great suffering. But he kept his trust in God and never gave way to bitterness. Eventually after two decades he found himself in front of his brothers again and he chose to see his experiences in exactly the light that Mary suggested we should. In that dramatic moment as he revealed himself to them, he said, “Come near to me, I pray you. I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt. Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.” He continued, “And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt” (Genesis 45:4-8). What incredible faith and forgiveness he had! He chose to see the hand of God even in the misdeeds of his brothers because he realized that indeed all things had worked together for his good. To him, it was not his brothers that sold him into slavery but God Himself. He saw, as Mary suggested, that men were His instruments in doing a great work, even when those men inflicted sorrow in the short term and had caused his own suffering for many years. It had all led to a glorious end because He trusted unfailingly in God.  

                Of course, this is much easier to write about than to live by. To forgive like Joseph and see God’s hand even in our suffering can be terribly difficult when life seems so unfair. Ultimately our safety and joy lie in trusting the Lord no matter what happens to us. When others could be to blame for our trials, we can say with Job, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). I believe we can only find peace in great trials as we see that the Lord’s plan for us is still in effect and working towards our salvation. No matter what happens we must be able to say, echoing the sentiment of Isaiah, “Have thine own way Lord, have thine own way. Thou art the Potter and I am the clay.” And we can trust that this Potter will use even the misdeeds of others to shape us into exactly what we need to be.