The Master Teachers

With this last general conference marking the 30^th anniversary of the proclamation on the family, it is not surprising that two talks were focused on the family. One of these was from President Oaks who declared, “The doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints centers on the family…. The Church of Jesus Christ is sometimes known as a family-centered church. It is! Our relationship to God and the purpose of our mortal life are explained in terms of the family.” In an unusually personal story, President Oaks shared how his father died when he was only seven years old. He lived at that point on his grandfather’s farm, and he related with much emotion how he received the news of his father’s death from his grandfather: “I ran into the bedroom and knelt beside the bed, crying my heart out. Grandpa followed me and went to his knees beside me and said, ‘I will be your father.’ That tender promise is a powerful example of what grandparents can do to fill in the gaps when families lose or are missing a member.” In addition to allowing the Church to see a personal side of our new prophet, this story also reminds us of how important it is for family members to help and love one another in times of need. The family should be a refuge against the storms of life where we “unite to strengthen one another.”

               Much of President Oaks’ message was directed at parents as he encouraged us to teach our children. He said, “As parental influences diminish, Latter-day Saints still have a God-given responsibility to teach their children to prepare for our family destiny in eternity.” He spoke of his own widowed mother and her efforts to teach her children: “She was alone and broken, but with the Lord’s help, her powerful teaching of the doctrine of the restored Church guided us. How she prayed for heavenly assistance in raising her children, and she was blessed! We were raised in a happy home in which our deceased father was always a reality. She taught us that we had a father and she had a husband and we would always be a family because of their temple marriage.” From this story he encouraged us, “I know that many other families are not so happy, but every single mother can teach of the love of a Heavenly Father and the eventual blessings of a temple marriage. You too can do this! Heavenly Father’s plan assures this possibility for everyone.” No matter what our unique circumstances are, we can teach our children about the blessings of the temple for families in the eternities. President Oaks also encouraged us to teach the most important values in the home by example: “Parents, single or married—and others, like grandparents, who fill that role for children—are the master teachers. Their most effective teaching is by example. The family circle is the ideal place to demonstrate and learn eternal values, such as the importance of marriage and children, the purpose of life, and the true source of joy. It is also the best place to learn other essential lessons of life, such as kindness, forgiveness, self-control, and the value of education and honest work.” I’m intrigued by his phrase that parents are the “master teachers.” Even though not all parents are trained and polished educators, perhaps what he means by this is that our children will (whether we like it or not) learn more from us than any other teacher. No matter what our background, we should embrace the role of teacher to our children and strive to show the most important students we will ever have the best example of Christlike living that we can.

               President Oaks quoted this important verse from the Doctrine and Covenants: “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents” (68:25). As parents we have a divine mandate to teach our children about the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and if we fail to do this it won’t matter what other worldly success we have had. President David O. McKay famously put our roles as parents in perspective when he taught that “no other success can compensate for failure in the home.” This address by President Oaks is a powerful reminder that if we want an eternal family in the world to come, we must focus our lives now on blessing our mortal family.