There I Buried Leah

As I get older I realize that time alone does not heal damaged relationships. We see this in particular in the story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah. We do not have any information about the kind of relationship that Rachel and Leah had growing up, but the deceitful way that Laban gave Leah to Jacob who had worked for Rachel clearly caused a great rift between these two sisters and between Jacob and Leah. With each child, Leah hoped that it would improve her relationship with Jacob. After the first she said, “Now therefore my husband will love me.” After the second her wish didn’t seem to have come to pass: “Because the Lord hath heard that I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also.” With the third child she was still hoping to gain favor in the sight of her husband: “Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons” (Genesis 29:32-34). Even with three children she still seemed to feel rejected by her husband. After Leah had given birth to the fourth son, Rachel showed that she was extremely jealous of her sister: “When Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die” (Genesis 30:1). Clearly their relationship wasn’t any improved after what was probably about eight years of being married to the same man. Rachel then had Jacob marry her handmaid Bilhah who bore him two children, after which Rachel declared, “With great wrestlings have I wrestled with my sister, and I have prevailed” (Genesis 30:8). After probably more than a decade since the original rift was sewed by Laban, Rachel still viewed her sister as an enemy. Their animosity was still strong when Reuben later found mandrakes, something that was supposed to help with conception: “Then Rachel said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son’s mandrakes. And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my husband? and wouldest thou take away my son’s mandrakes also?” (Genesis 30:14-15). Probably more than a dozen years after their marriage, Leah was still accusing Rachel of taking her husband, an accusation that Rachel could probably have hurled at Leah as well. Laban’s trickery had long-lasting consequences, and these two sisters didn’t seem able to overcome the animosity it created. It clearly bled into the feelings and actions of their sons, for it would be Leah’s sons who would be jealous of Rachel’s son Joseph and sell him into Egypt.

               There is an interesting detail about the end of Jacob’s life that suggests, though, that perhaps he was able to eventually find in his heart to love Leah like he did Rachel. Rachel died in childbirth to Benjamin and was buried in Bethlehem: “And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the midwife said unto her, Fear not; thou shalt have this son also. And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Ben-oni: but his father called him Benjamin. And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Beth-lehem” (Genesis 35:17-19). We don’t know exactly when Leah died, but it was likely after this and we know it was before Jacob died. As he was on his deathbed he made this request, “I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite, In the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre, in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephron the Hittite for a possession of a buryingplace. There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife; there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife; and there I buried Leah” (Genesis 49:29-31). He requested to be buried with Leah, who was buried in Hebron which is about 20 miles or so from where Rachel was buried. His request of course was related to the fact that Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, and Rebekah were buried there, but still I’d like to think that his mention of being buried where Leah was also shows that he did indeed love her and wanted to be with her in the life to come. Surely he loved Rachel as well, and perhaps by the end of his life he was able to come to terms with the wrong Laban had done to him and fix his relationship with his first wife whom he originally did not want. These stories highlight that family relationships are hard and that the impact of wrongs done in a family can last decades if not generations. They also remind us that we need to strive to build up and strengthen the relationships we have with our family members with, above all else, love and forgiveness.