The Early Marriages of Lehi's Family

It’s intriguing to me how the dynamics of family life must have been among Lehi, Ishmael, Zoram and their group as they traveled to the promised land and first settled in their new life.  Clearly the Lord planned well as he put the two families and Zoram together in terms of allowing marriage partners for everyone initially.  Ishmael had two sons who were already married by the time they left Jerusalem, and then he had five single daughters who were matched up with Zoram, Laman, Lemuel, Sam, and Nephi.  It must have been an interesting process for them to figure out in a way that was agreeable to everyone who was going to marry who.  Most likely Laman and Lemuel chose the two who rebelled against Nephi in their initial journey from Jerusalem to the wilderness (1 Nephi 7:6).  Zoram married the eldest, likely because he was the oldest among the five bachelors, and then I would guess that Sam got to choose among the remaining two before Nephi given Sam’s seniority in terms of age.  We often hear complaints from young single adults about not having enough options of people to marry—these five really didn’t have many options!  Of course, it is possible that there was already some marriage arrangement that had been made prior to their hasty exodus between one of Lehi’s sons and one of Ishmael’s daughters, but either way by the time they got to the wilderness they simply had to make the best of their situation and make those marriages work.       

               I’ve always wondered how the subsequent early marriages worked among the Nephites and Lamanites.  By the time they got to the promised land, the unmarried included Jacob, Joseph, the children of the sons of Ishmael, any children of those five couples married at the beginning of the journey, and most likely the daughters of Lehi only mentioned in one verse (see 2 Nephi 5:6).  It would have been difficult to avoid marriages between cousins for those who wanted to be married.  Jacob and Joseph would have had to marry either one of the children of the sons of Ishmael or one of the children of Zoram and his wife to avoid a marriage within the family.  The same goes for all of the children of Nephi, Sam, Laman, and Lemuel.  Given the fact that the sons of Ishmael rebelled with Laman and Lemuel and did not follow Nephi when the two groups split, it’s likely that Laman and Lemuel’s children intermarried with the children of the sons of Ishmael and that the children of Zoram intermarried with Jacob, Joseph, and Sam and Nephi’s children.  Of course, for the next generation, avoiding marrying anyone who shared a common great-grandfather would have been just about impossible. 

We don’t know the details of how all of these marriages worked, but Lord the blessed them and clearly provided a way for their population size to rapidly grow.  What impresses me I guess is the fact that Nephi could experience a life of such limited choices—whether in marriage options or the availability of food or finding materials to build with or many other things—and not complain.  Nephi’s attitude was summed up in this statement: “I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions” (1 Nephi 18:16).  When we are tempted to complain because of limiting circumstances, surely we can look to Nephi as an example of one who always made the best of the seemingly unfair challenges of life.