I Will Trust in Thee Forever

If there was anyone who ever had reason to be angry, surely it was Nephi.  Over and over again his brothers mistreated him, doing everything from leaving him tied up to be eaten by beasts, trying to throw him off a cliff into the ocean, binding him for four days on a boat that was about to sink, and generally just seeking to kill him.  Remaining calm, patient, loving, and forgiving during such experiences is a herculean task to ask of just about anyone.  But Nephi in many cases did just this, telling us on one occasion after they left him for dead in the wilderness, “And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done” (1 Nephi 7:21).  Each time Laman and Lemuel came to themselves after terribly abusing their younger brother, Nephi let it go and moved on with serving and helping his family.  After Lehi died in the promised land, Laman and Lemuel “were angry with [Nephi] because of the admonitions of the Lord” (2 Nephi 4:13).  Eventually Nephi had to do something, and when “their anger did increase against [Nephi], insomuch that they did seek to take away [his] life,” he followed the inspiration of the Lord and departed in secret with the righteous among their group (2 Nephi 5:2). 

It was just before this time, though, that Nephi had a great internal struggle to overcome his own negative feelings towards his brothers that he had fought against all those years.  Though he had forgiven them over and over again in a show of extraordinary love and patience, he did still face feelings of frustration and anger towards.  He seems to have hit a breaking point in 2 Nephi 4, likely in part due to the loss of his father who seemed to have held the family together, and Nephi cried out amidst the negative feelings of his heart, “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.”  And what were those iniquities?  It was, it appears, his anger that he felt towards his brethren.  He questioned himself, “why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?”  He resolved to himself, “Do not anger again because of mine enemies” (2 Nephi 4:17,27,29).  That he called Laman and Lemuel (and perhaps the sons of Ishmael) his enemies instead of his brethren shows how terrible the situation had become, but what else do you call those who want to kill you?  Nephi learned that even though he had countless reasons to be angry because of the wickedness of his brothers, he still was not justified before the Lord in that anger.  He knew what the Lord revealed in our dispensation to the Prophet Joseph: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds” (Doctrine and Covenants 64:10-11).  Nephi learned that instead of letting his soul fill with wrath because of the actions of his brothers, he had to turn over his soul to God: “Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation. O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies?... O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies!... O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever” (2 Nephi 4:30-34).  He could only find peace by focusing on and trusting in the Lord—there was no peace in letting his heart fill with anger towards his brethren.    

              So, Nephi’s experience teaches us that no matter what the offense against us, no matter how innocent we are and how justified in our wrath we appear to be, to respond against evil with anger is not the way of the Lord.  Instead, as we struggle with those feelings which may seem at times like they are inevitable given our circumstances, we must, as Nephi did, let them go and turn to the Lord with all our hearts.  Like Nephi we must cry with all our hearts to God for help to not fight against evil with evil of our own, pleading with him, “O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness!” (2 Nephi 4:33, 5:1)  Only He can change our hearts and help us triumph over all evil without cankering our own souls.