One Good Memory

S. Michael Wilcox referred to a passage in The Brothers Karamazov in a recent book that I really like.  Towards the end of the novel, Alyosha, the hero of the story, said this to a group of boys at the funeral of one of another boy Ilusha, “People talk to you a great deal about your education, but some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If a man carries many such memories with him into life, he is safe to the end of his days, and if one has only one good memory left in one's heart, even that may sometime be the means of saving us. Perhaps we may even grow wicked later on, may be unable to refrain from a bad action….  However bad we may become—which God forbid—yet, when we recall how we buried Ilusha, how we loved him in his last days, and how we have been talking like friends all together, at this stone, the cruelest and most mocking of us—if we do become so—will not dare to laugh inwardly at having been kind and good at this moment! What's more, perhaps, that one memory may keep him from great evil and he will reflect and say, ‘Yes, I was good and brave and honest then!’”  In other words, if in our childhood we develop good, sacred memories of doing and being good, of loving and being loved, of serving and feeling the Spirit of the Lord, and most importantly of being taught the principles of the gospel, then those memories will stick with us and help us keep our course in life.  As the proverb states, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).  I don’t think this means that a child can never stray if he is trained up right, but perhaps it does mean that those memories of good moments and righteous living and learning gospel truths as a child will not depart from him or her later in life. 

            I believe those memories we make in childhood are very influential on us throughout our whole lives.  I have seen that in my 95-year-old grandmother who, though she is not always totally mentally alert, speaks with excitement about memories from childhood (such as when school was canceled for a whole month because of a blizzard in her town in Iowa).  Recently I have been reading my own journal I wrote when I was about eight years old and as I think about some of the experiences I wrote, it seems that I remember them better than I remember what I did last year.  We see the power of these good experiences and memories from youth in the scriptures as well.  Alma the Younger is perhaps the most striking example—it was the memory of the faith of his father that saved him when he was in a torment over his sins: “And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world” (Alma 36:17).  That memory of his youth gave him the faith he needed to call upon the Savior for redemption.  Enos also expressed the influence his memory of his father’s teachings had on him: “I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart” (Enos 1:3).  It was memories as a child of the teachings of his father that led him to seek the Lord.  Paul sought to help Timothy similar remember the teaching he received from his mother and grandmother: “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also. Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands” (2 Timothy 1:5-6).  Paul hoped that remembering the faith of his mother and grandmother, which memories surely came from Timothy’s youth, would inspire Timothy in his life.  These scriptures all highlight the critical job we have as parents to foster wholesome experiences, to teach the principles of the gospel, to help our children feel the Spirit of the Lord so they can carry those memories throughout their lives for when they really need them.