He Requested for Himself that He Might Die

The prophet Elijah is well-known among Latter-day Saints for the role that he has played in the restoration of the sealing keys.  We speak often of the “spirit of Elijah” that motivates us to seek out our ancestors and perform temple work.  He is the last prophet mentioned in the Old Testament and his appearing in our dispensation is an important sign that the coming of the Lord is near.  He also was a powerful prophet in his day, working incredible miracles such as calling down fire from heaven, raising the son of the widow of Zarephath from the dead, and even sealing the heavens.  He can seem to us as someone who was hardly even mortal as we think about his powerful mission and the triumphant way his mortal experience ended: going up to heaven in a chariot of fire.  But perhaps we don’t consider often enough the story of 1 Kings 19 and the very real struggle he faced as, amidst the persecutions and wickedness of his time, he lost for a moment his will even to live.  Surely in our day when depression and suicidal thoughts are enormous demons that far too many face, this story of Elijah should offer hope and encouragement to continue on. 

               I see four important lessons from this story of Elijah.  The first is that depression or even a desire to no longer live can come to anyone.  Elijah was a great prophet, and yet when things were at a low for him, he lost his desire to live.  We read that he “came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers” (1 Kings 19:4).  He had good reason to be depressed—many in Israel had gone after false gods and would not listen to him, and the wicked Jezebel was trying to kill him.  He was on the run in the wilderness and very alone, and so he seems to have thought that it was the end of his life for him.  If these dark thoughts came to him, the Lord’s anointed prophet in his day, then surely we need not be ashamed if we find ourselves in similar darkness.  But the second lesson is that the Lord is very aware of us and will send His help.  After Elijah laid down to die, “an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.”  An angel had come not just to speak to him, but to give him food, “a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head.”  Elijah did get up and eat it, but apparently that wasn’t enough to overcome his darkness for he “laid him down again.”  But the Lord didn’t give up on him, and “the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat” (v4-7).  We may not get the visit of an angel making us breakfast when we are feeling depressed, but the Lord will send his angels, whether from this side of the veil or the other, to offer help and comfort and encouragement for us to continue on.  He has promised, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you” (John 14:18). 

               The third lesson this story of Elijah offers us is that it is not as bad as it seems in the moment.  Elijah described his situation to the Lord in these words, “I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away” (v10).  A few verses later he repeated the same thing, showing that he firmly believed that he was literally the only one left who would follow Jehovah (v13).  But the Lord corrected him: “Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him” (v18).  The Lord didn’t deny that Elijah struggles were very real and that there was indeed great wickedness in the land, but he was not the only righteous one left; there were yet 7000 in Israel who were on his side in worshipping Jehovah.  When depression and darkness come, we can feel that there is no hope, that we are totally alone, but if we listen the Lord will gently remind us too that there are yet countless others who are ready to sustain us. 

The last lesson I see from this story is that the Lord still has great things for us to do.  The Lord did not grant Elijah his request to die; instead He gave him a mission to accomplish: “Go, return on thy way to the wilderness of Damascus: and when thou comest, anoint Hazael to be king over Syria” (v15).  After this point Elijah found Elisha and trained him, met with Ahab the wicked king and testified boldly before him, and even called down fire again from heaven.  In fact, the work that the Lord had for Elijah was so great that it wasn’t done even when his normal years in mortality were over.  He who had wanted to die at one point actually “was taken to heaven without tasting death,” in part so he could participate in the great events at the Mount of Transfiguration when the Savior was on the earth (Doctrine and Covenants 110:13).  Surely Elijah’s lesson for those who struggle with darkness, doubt, and depression is that we must keep going and keep trying, that we must never give in to the lie that our life is not worth continuing. For the Lord is yet ready to do a great work through us just as He did through Elijah.