The Major Stuff

My sister sent me this article which I really appreciated.  The writer spoke about the death of George HW Bush and the things that his son, George W, said about him at his funeral.  She wrote, “In the eulogy George W didn’t mention once that his parents made sure he had organic food his whole life, or had Pinterest worthy birthday parties, or the perfect monogrammed matching outfits with his siblings. He didn’t mention that his parents made sure their week was planned with playdates and millions of extracurricular activities.  He reflected over and over again about how much his dad loved and was dedicated to his mother.”  She then suggested, “I worry that we get so caught up in the minor things that we forget the major thing which is teaching our kids what unconditional love and loyalty looks like….  Don’t make the minor stuff the major stuff.  Have fun, play games, have family dinner, be kind, do good in your community when you have opportunity, show integrity when no one is watching, and love your spouse fiercely.  Fight for your family.  At the end of your life this is what will matter to your children.”  This reminds me of the powerful talk given by Sister Elaine S. Dalton entitled Love Her Mother.  She said, “So how do you raise a girl? Love her mother.”  She quoted President David O. McKay who said, “The most important thing a father can do for his [daughter] is to love [her] mother.”  I have often thought to myself that if at my funeral people focus on any academic achievements I might have had or things accomplished in my career, then I’ll surely know that I failed.  I hope, on the other hand, I can live in such a way that there might be some mention of kindness or love or concern for others.  And I better not die today because I am a long way from there—too often for me the little stuff, especially the little stuff I want my children to do, is what I focus on. 

               The sayings that we have from the Savior confirm what is really most important for us to focus on.  He questioned his disciples, “Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?” (Matt. 6:25)  The purpose of life is not about acquiring possessions; He said, “Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth” (Luke 12:15).  He also cautioned, “He who seeketh to save his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39).  Matthew recorded this teaching also in Matthew 16:25, showing that it was something that the Savior emphasized.  In the Sermon on the Mount we also see the attributes that Christ focused on.  Again He highlighted those things which are not ephemeral: “But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal” (Matt. 6:20)  He blessed those who are poor in spirit, meek, merciful, pure in heart, peacemakers, and who seek after righteousness—those are the kinds of treasures in heaven that we should seek (see Matthew 5:3-9).  He did not say blessed are the wealthy or healthy or well-educated or athletic.  He taught that we need is to love as He did: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).  The great commandment, the “major stuff,” all centers around love for God and others: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind….  Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matt. 22:37, 39).

In the article this writer said, “We say our value is family, but our actions show something completely different.”  Perhaps these reflections on the late George HW Bush remind us to evaluate what we focus on at home with our families.  How we treat them day to day, how we serve others, how we speak and discipline and care for others will teach our children far more than our words ever will.  Despite the greatness of these sayings of the Savior, His greatest teaching was of course His life of love as he served and blessed and ultimately died to serve His Father’s children.