Beauty for Ashes

Sister Kristin Lee told a personal story about forgiveness in her recent talk in general conference. She related, “I grew up in a home where I didn’t always feel safe because of emotional and verbal mistreatment. In my youth and young adult years, I resented my father and had anger in my heart from that hurt. Over the years and in my efforts to find peace and healing on the path of forgiveness, I came to realize in a profound way that the same Son of God who atoned for my sins is the same Redeemer who will also save those who have deeply hurt me. I could not truly believe the first truth without believing the second.” She continued, “As my love for the Savior has grown, so has my desire to replace hurt and anger with His healing balm. It has been a process of many years, requiring courage, vulnerability, perseverance, and learning to trust in the Savior’s divine power to save and heal.” Often it is our own family members who are the hardest to forgive when they hurt us, but through the miraculous power of the Savior she was able to move past the hurt and fully forgive her father.

In the book The Boys in the Boat which I wrote about recently, there is another powerful story of forgiveness about Joe Rantz, one of the nine members of that 1936 Olympic rowing team. His mother died when he was young, and after his father remarried and had children with his new wife, she did not get along with Joe. Eventually when Joe was only 15 years old his father and second wife, along with their own children, left him and forbid him to come with them. He was left completely alone, in the middle of the depression, to make his own way. Many years later when he learned that his family was actually still living in Seattle where he was, he tried to visit them. His step-mother wouldn’t even let him in the door. But she died suddenly from an illness, and after that his father invited him to come back and live with him and the children. Joe not only did that but helped to build the new house that they lived in, showing incredible forgiveness and love to a father who had abandoned him. The story suggests that as he was able to let go of hurt and get past his bitter desire to never again be dependent on anyone, Joe was able to be united completely with his rowing team and learn to be dependent fully on them as they worked together. The story shows beautifully that there is more power in forgiveness and love and unity than there is in hate and contention. And the Savior certainly gave Joe “beauty for ashes” as he transformed his life from the lonely despair of being abandoned to the triumphant victory in the Olympics with a united rowing team.

                There is a phrase from Nephi relating to forgiveness that has always impressed me. As Nephi and his brothers traveled back to the wilderness from Jerusalem with Ishmael’s family, Laman and Lemuel again became angry with him. Nephi recorded, “And it came to pass that they did lay their hands upon me, for behold, they were exceedingly wroth, and they did bind me with cords, for they sought to take away my life, that they might leave me in the wilderness to be devoured by wild beasts.” Just like Joseph of old, his brothers left him for dead in the wilderness. But Nephi, through his faith in God, broke the bands and stood before them miraculously again. After much pleading from others in the company, Laman and Lemuel came to themselves and asked his forgiveness. Nephi wrote, “And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness” (1 Nephi 7:16-21). How did he “frankly forgive” his brothers only a short time after they tied him up and left him for dead? To me that was even a greater feat than breaking the bonds with which he had been tied, and surely it too only came because of the power of God. His story shows that we too must learn to forgive like Sister Yee, and we can be sure that the Lord will help us break those bonds that stop our hearts from letting go of the hurt. Sister Yee summarized, “To all who are brokenhearted, captive, bruised, and perhaps blinded by hurt or sin, He offers healing, recovery, and deliverance. I testify that that healing and recovery He offers is real…. The Savior is ever merciful and attentive and stands ready to provide the succor we need.”